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Alyssa Fabulous, 21 y.o.
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I think it really depends on the reason for the break. If it's one of those breaks where people are just sick of each other, it's hard to get back where you were. Your situation is obviously a little different and is the result of circumstance. I think that helps a little but surviving a break is still a challenge.
Does he know that you're insecure and actively working on it?
Him doubling down and saying that the situation did in fact happen to him is what turns it away from that. That’s the point. Everyone knows jokes are copied and old lol.
I don’t think it’s a bad idea because of how long you’ve been together. The thing that’s concerning for me is you saying “the only reason” you want to live with him is because of these other difficult circumstances you’re dealing with. If those weren’t an issue for you, would you even consider living with him? Is it something you’ve fantasized about doing with him eventually because of the current health and happiness levels of your relationship?
As I’m sure you know, tying yourself to someone via a living arrangement is risky. It’s why you’re so hesitant to risk living with another potentially bad roommate. However, please keep in mind living with your bf isn’t some roommate now. There are significantly more emotional things to deal with and ramifications for how responsibilities are handled when you’re romantically involved with the person you online with. Moving in with a partner before you’re ready can destroy a relationship. It’s a breeding ground for resentment, and unless you both have identical ways of living in your private spaces, there’s going to be growing pains that you will have to adjust to differently than if this was a platonic person who simply shared a home with you but otherwise maintained their life completely separately from yours. And if you’re motivated now more by fear of a bad situation versus a true desire to take the next step, you could very well find yourself stuck in a very bad situation if it hurts your relationship more than helps it.
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