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Your mom is a word I can't use because it might get my comment removed, but whatever word you're thinking of, it's probably right.
I'm so sorry you've been dealing with these feelings and dwelling in sadness for so many years because of her cruelty. It's unfathomable a parent should be that way over something culturally important to you–knowing what it means to your families–and then turn around and have no problem helping others with the same celebration while loudly denigrating you–her own daughter–to everyone.
If I were you, I would cease all communication. If you still live at home, work on getting out. Reduce talking to the basics, and otherwise don't engage her.
Let's be clear: she doesn't deserve you.
She is being a vindictive, manipulative brat towards you–maybe it's a power trip–but that is not how healthy, loving parents act.
As for this, you can tell her you took care of it but with an attitude that you're pissed, and when she acts confused by it, you hold onto that anger and tell her, “I don't know what you're talking about. I sorted that dress for you; anything else??” And then keep it cold because she deserves it. She wants to be cold to you? Fine; then she gets ice back because you are no longer going to suffer her nastiness. She brings up your grades or whatever, you tell her, “that was 6 years ago; aren't you done bitching yet? Should I wear a sign to make it easier for you to complain about me?” And then walk the fuck out and NEVER tolerate her abuse again.
Ah the narcissist mantra, classic
ending up in an abusive, loveless marriage with someone like my dad
You deleted them because knew it would cause a problem if he saw them. It may have been a problem that you could have worked through.
He instead saw that you deleted them, so now there is nothing you can do or say without digging the hole even deeper. If he decides to end it, then it’s over, if not then you might work through it
Don't say sorry to us…say sorry to her with flowers and dinner and tell her everything you said here.
What else have you bought her?!
Probably because of the reason that SHE gave you?? Trying to understand the psychological trends behind a monster?
Listen.