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Thank you so much for taking the time to say that to me, I genuinely appreciate your input! Honestly I truly love him and if he can just be honest with me in the future I think over time hopefully I will move on. Coming from a past where I was abused itâs just so nude to trust. Really hoping this is just a fuck up on his part and he learned his lesson. Again, thank you very much for your input â¤ď¸
Firstly I appreciate the input. Iâve tried every foreplay there is. Iâve put hours into showering together, massages, dinner dates. Day trips, vacations. Nothing helps. I keep up the home I do most of the house work including cleaning cooking organizing and such. I pick up after the dogs and feed them. I do all yard work and home renovations my self. The sex use to be 10/10 for both of us. She couldnât keep her hands off of me. But the performances have not been very good on either end. Itâs really very hot to last and preform if you havenât in a few weeks. I know thatâs a man thing but itâs true. And now she doesnât initiate ever and she wonât even try to go on top and do anything.
and I can't stand it. As as
Sometimes I also question if I'm a priority.
They've complained about me, left me out
“Of course he can come!” but still that is not good enough for him.
Co-ed parties aside it sounds like your SO does not prioritize being a partner, and it sounds like that's something you need (and deserve out of any romantic relationship).âś
Only you can really decide how much you're willing to put up with but if it were me I'd let them know I was looking for different things and wish them well.
Your problem is as obvious as the cure. A handful of dates in 9 years???? FFS! You need to prioritize your relationship. And yep. I mean your adult relationship has got to be re-established as more important than your kids. Why do I say that? Because your relationship with your kids flows from a great relationship as spouses. Get a friend or family member to watch your kids for a week. Take your wife on a vacation to an adults only resort. Reconnect. And then, make sure you have a date night at minimum every two weeks. Why should you believe me? Because I am a divorce attorney. Donât end up in my office.
This is why you should always live! with your partner before marriage. Then youâll know what itâll be like. Heâs being a total jerk, but I see it as a good thing that youâre finding this out now instead of after you got married.
Unlike him, you can do better.
He's having an emotional affair. I experienced about 90% of what you've described here, including him saying she apologised for “taking up his time” when he was supposed to be working on himself and our marriage ?
I told him I'm working on my anxiety, overthinking, jealous side of me because I am and wanted to fix our relationship
I love him very much that's why I let him still keep his friendship with her. He has like 2-3 friends he can actually talk to.
I have felt exactly what you stated here, and my ex also only had 1 other friend he occasionally spoke to, so I was treated like Satan incarnate for even hinting at the possibility that this “friendship” could be an issue.
I cant imagine myself with someone else.
I said the same thing. Notice that I said “ex” in my previous sentence. His emotional affair was just the straw that broke the camel's back. It took him smirking while lying straight to my face for me to realise I could no longer pretend that he was still the kind, loving man he once was. I was bending so much to accommodate him that I was about to break, and I finally chose to put myself first.
Divorce is not the end of the world. A husband who loves you would not treat you this way.
If OP is giving her attention, affection and admiration, NOTHING happens.
Thanks for advises and kind words. I have to choose what to do. I mean, I understand it, but I just don't want to give up on this, it's pathetic, but I still believe in us. But I guess in relationship you need two people to survive everything together.
Sorry mate but sheâs already broken up with you. Itâs not necessarily a you thing, itâs just not working out for her – doesnât mean youâre a bad person or did something wrong. Just take it with grace for yourself. Text her something like âok so this isnât working out, I wish you well best of luckâ and delete her contacts & de-friend & un-follow on sm. If she doesnât contact after a week, block her on everything so you can go on with your awesome life with a clean slate not moping & mooning around watching her from a distance. Sometimes we donât always get closure, best just read the writing on the wall & carry on with our lives which donât have to include everybody. good luck!