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He's the neediest of all, I'm actually the oldest 🙂
Uh no..
???
I still love him though. We been through so much together and he is an amazing dad and does treat me good besides recently with these troubles. I don’t know what life would really look like if we split, would I move out? Would he? Even though I bought the house completely on my own without his help I live in a state that if your married it’s shared… and if he left where would he go? He can’t afford a place on his own. And what about the kids they love him, I can’t have their dad on the street. So many unknowns and what ifs
This is really the only area we aren’t, doubt i’m gonna find someone who wants to have sex as much as she does. Plus it’s not really a big deal, I love her her much and wouldn’t let her go.
It sounds like, in his eyes, the physical distance between you is insurmountable.
What are you on about? Bipolar and BPD are two completely separate, different diagnoses with different symptoms. Quit stigmatizing mental illness with your ignorance.
Yeah. My biggest worry for SAHMs (or SAHDs though it's rarer) is that should they need to divorce, their lack of professional experience may stop them from divorcing. It'd be really bad if you can't afford to leave a bad situation.
Grow the fuck up, geezus
Why are you letting her control you like that? Why are you listening? “I can't move out on my own because she thinks I'm not capable”
Maybe prove her wrong? You're an adult, you don't need to listen to your mom like you're 6 anymore
You have to do it now. Don't let her trauma bond to you through her father's death. It seems cruel but this is the best thing for her and you.
38 and dating a 20 year old?? That knowledge coupled with this shitty poem? What are you doing with him sis??
I would have done the same to be honest (laugh, not storm off). I also think it’s objectively worse that they left you to get home by yourself over something like that?
Get a paternity test immediately. Vasectomies fail sometimes, I can’t believe how confident you are that it’s not your kid. Also, do not assume responsibility for the kid.
THIS! Listen to this comment, OP.
Strange
Advice? It's trash day, take that shit out to the curb!
I’ll talk with her, she just reminds me of myself when I was younger (except I was always good with money) I think we can also be business patterns, I would be happy to help her with her ventures, not so much when it comes to the stuff she currently does
“If I dump her, I’m not going to find anyone better” is not a good way to find yourself happy or healthy, whether that be now or in a decade.
If you think the relationship is worth working on, then you both are going to have to work really nude at this. You’re going to have to be really committed. I don’t know what that looks like for you; therapy separately and/or together, practicing being open with each other, practicing seducing each other and learning about yourselves sexually all sound like good starts. And you both need to be especially kind to each other; you’re both anxious, and sex is really vulnerable.
It also is possible that this won’t work out. If the reason you’re with this girl is “I don’t think anyone better will like me,” it’s doomed already.
28 year marriage here. It is important to have some interests/activities away from the other person so if nothing else, you have new things to discuss. It is also important to communicate and be intentional about it. Some “down” nights are absolutely normal and expected. But literally plan nights where you are engaged in an activity together (alone as a couple or together with a group of friends). Join a rec league, a trivia team, a wine club, cards, a charitable organization, whatever. Unless you online in a very remote area, there is definitely something to join.
My sister and her longtime spouse decided to get out of a rut they by declaring this year “the year of doing things we would not normally do.” So, they each got a tattoo (perhaps not the best in hindsight!!!), one of them who never gambled a $1 in her life is going to place a $100 bet, they are flying to Puerto Rico for a long weekend which will include a jungle hike for the person who is afraid of spiders! We’re joining them for a cruise to Alaska, and taking a helicopter ride to a glacier.
Sometimes I quite literally read up on something in the news and come to dinner with conversation starters. While phones or tv may be allowed sometimes, other times it is definitely a no phone dinner. Put on music and chat!
The other thing to do is plan spontaneity. Not the oxymoron it appears to be! Maybe once a month, you each take responsibility to plan something simple based on your income and interests. It might just be a hike and lunch on a local trail, a midweek movie at a theater instead of at home, whatever. It is shared experiences like these that establish life long memories and conversation. I’m not going to claim every day is sunshine and roses. Of course it isn’t. Often it is routine and just getting through the week. But if BOTH of you commit to doing this, you will have far more interesting days than boring days.