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Then it really does sound like it's time to move on. And if it's really meant to be then maybe he'll come around again in a few years when he's feeling a little more independent and has a better idea of what he wants.
If that’s your only problem I wouldn’t sweat it.
Toxic
I’m allergic to tobacco and my wife of 27 years smokes. When we got married I asked her not to smoke in the house because of my allergy. And she doesn’t.
You should have a conversation about it with your husband. Explain why you don’t want to him smoking inside (breathing second hand smoke, the smell of smoke permeating the fabrics in your home, you don’t want any future kids subjected to second hand smoke, etc.) Explain that this is your home, too, and you have as much right to things in the home being the way you like as he.
Work out a compromise, like he gets one room where he can smoke inside and it’s not allowed anywhere else. But you both have to agree and keep the agreement.
Good luck.
I'm late twenties, I have one child. I've dated people with 1-2. But I know women who are mid twenties with four… and it blows my mind because those are usually ones that don't have an actual sustaining job/career.
Infertile does not mean sterile, especially as you’re getting older.
Remember those sex Ed classes that said to always put a nodder on before putting it in? That was for a reason. Even ‘just the tip’ could put a swimmer in the water
You are correct. Classic obsession with controlling the narrative. Confession or not, you seem to have all the information you need to make the right choice.
I should add, you have zero percent chance of changing fundamentally who he is. The trust is broken because that's what happens. The good thing is, you can move in with your life now and set a higher standard for how you are treated by romantic partners. Don't normalise abuse towards you. It will never end otherwise.
She is not about to change. She has proven that. So you either accept her as is or leave. The choice is very simple.
Time to face the reality and call him to 1)apologize 2) see if he will accept to be back together and help you put boundaries! Show him you love him