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To me it sounds like he’s already putting the band and this woman above your feelings. Someone who’s caused my partner so much pain and has literally and knowingly participated in doing so, is not someone I’d choose to be around. He chooses to even have physical contact with her.
Honestly, your husbands reaction makes me think he could very well be number three. If he does care about you, then he’ll find another band. Period. Him taking the opinion of redditors more seriously than yours would also give me pause if I were you.
Do what’s best for you and don’t let anyone treat you as less than. You deserve so much better.
So would op it seems.
I'm sorry but, no offense, that's not a rational response to these things. Something is clearly off on her level of anxiety and expectations of you.
I get small mistakes cause issues but… the examples you're giving are not you “betraying her” or anything even near that.
The examples you've given so far are so… normal.
There is something going on here that you're not aware of or not mentioning because her responses are not healthy. I'm not a doctor but I'll bet money there's something that that needs to get treated. And, rather than talking to you, she's “almost catatonically depressed”?
Seriously… bring in bigger guns and get her to see someone.
Otherwise? you seriously need to consider exiting stage left if you are at a point where you think you're guilty of betraying her for the stuff you mentioned.
You need to convince her to get help and walk through the path with her to get help… or you step aside and let her walk free until she's willing to get help – to protect yourself.
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Jesus, how did I not see this coming? Are you just picking random words and trying to associate them in a way as to misconstrue what I’m saying?
My stance and statement is real simple, I don’t think saying that tattoo artist would shy away from BDSM ink based on moral grounds. The comment I replied to stated they were and artist and they wouldn’t take a job like that. My point was they are doing edgy art, so to get on your high horse and stick your nose in the air about BDSM is asinine.
I would have made the same argument if they said they have a moral issue with trans art and had a profile full of BDSM art.
A 4 yo wouldn’t just say that for the hell of saying it
uhhhhhh…what?
Cheating isn't just sex or physical. He is intentionally keeping things from you, I think it's just the thrill for him.
Oh I'd confront him. I'd want to watch him break the way he's been breaking me when I tell him I'm done. That I have given him chance after chance and he's done is gaslit me.
That really sucks for her but that's life. Maybe she should've thought of that before she treated you like dog shit.
It would not make you the bad person it would make you human. She is an adult she is not your responsibility. She needs professional help, not anything you can give her.