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Be so serious right now please.
Then break up with her. This relationship isn’t meeting your needs. And it sounds like she’s doing a slow fade anyway, and doesn’t want to be with you even if she doesn’t realise that yet.
Is there a chance for a duplex type of home where you and partner live on one side, mom and brother live! on the other and a caretaker comes in to help his brother bath, move to chair/bed and such? Even a live-in type person as a helper? For both mom and brother?
I know many countries feel if you get outside help it is frowned upon, but it can be a blessing to add a person to the home to help all involved. The helper gets a place to live! and enough salary to be able to do things for themselves.
((HUGS)) Time to think outside of the norm and make sure everyone gets their own time and space and brother learns some independance.