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If I were you I’d try to obtain proof of the affair to use in court.
Are you a drama queen? I know several people who would love to be friends with this guy so they could regale everyone with your story.
If you're not a drama queen, what are you doing?
I saw someone suggest cranking one out audibly. I suggest putting on a porn video with the speakers right near her wall 10 minutes before she normally starts and crank it until it is louder than she gets.
Your “problem” sounds like an opportunity to have a great relationship with the two most important friends in your life. It would be much worse if he hated your best friend and you always had to run interference between them.
Communication is as always key.
Let your boyfriend know how much you appreciate his gestures, AND let him know that you have struggles reciprocating/accepting them properly because of your past. You're right to worry that he will be dejected if he only sees you dismissing him, so make sure he is fully aware.
Additionally, let him know that you're working to improve on the difficulties your past has established. Not just posting on Reddit, but that you're seeing a therapist (even if only a few times) to help you identify your issues and build techniques to grow).
Far too often people view therapy as something for broken people or last ditch scenarios which is silly. Relationships, hell just life, is incredibly complicated, and it should be obvious that a professional can be an incredibly powerful ally. No one expects to be born knowing how to swim, and that's a lot less complicated than love.
Lastly, don't be afraid to use some tricks. You seem like you're able to logically reflect upon the situations after the fact, and that's great. That means you can plan. Not everything must be spontaneous perfection. Think about ways/things you can do/say for him, and put reminders on your phones calendar to prompt you. Train yourself to be the person you want to be, and you'll build the loving relationship you deserve!
She’s pregnant and smoking cigarettes?
Thinking about asking? You better demand one! SMH
Sigh. This is so wildly inappropriate of your mom. I know Reddit thinks all cheaters should be burned at the stake but her behavior might actually be worse.
I would delete the pictures and tell your mom you can’t do this. You can talk to your dad and tell him that you know and your putting me in a horrible position because your mom is asking a lot of questions. Maybe put some pressure on him to tell him to come clean.
So sorry you’re going through this.
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Rough spot to be in. It sounds.lime your dad still thinks he gets to approve your relationship. Paternalism hangs on harder in some cultures. Sounds.like you online in one.
You may have to make it clear to your dad that if he continues to undermine your new relationship, he will eventually have to choose which of his relationships he wants.to take it the future: his relationship with you, or his relationship with your ex.
Best of luck!
You are 27 years old, you need to grow up or seek therapy because this behavior isn't normal. How is playing beer pong with people at a party crossing your boundaries? Work on your insecurities because you sound kinda unhinged. And you took his keys and left him stranded there? That's crossing into asshole behavior. Unless your boyfriend has cheated on you or gives you other serious reasons to doubt him, this is a you problem. This attitude isn't healthy, you sound jealous, overbearing and awfully dramatic.
If he says he ok I think you should take his word for it but one thing I think you need to do is stop drinking because if you get drunk to the point where you don’t remember things is bad and during those time you can’t control yourself and that’s not good for a relationship
Seems she needs to work on herself. I would suggest you tell her you don't want a break, that will just keep you hanging on. Tell her you want to break up.
From your reply it seems that there is a difference in approach when it comes to disagreements in a relationship. It sounds as if he may get defensive & take it personally – rather than seeing it as a constructive conversation to strengthen the relationship.
You are both very young and still learning how to navigate relationships. It’s up to you what you want for yourself. Communication is so important in EVERY type of relationship. It’s important to be and feel heard and respected.
What do you value in a relationship? What is your ideal relationship look like? How would you deal with disagreements? How would you handle hardships together?
Personally, I would then speak to him again. I know you have and I’m sure you are so exhausted of the same things – I always give it another attempt. (Even though most people didn’t deserve it ?) I would put it all out there and explain how you are both upset at the problem and not each other. Share with him how you are feeling about his reactions and responses to you.
If it’s the same thing – you have really think if this is what you want.
No one is perfect but there are fundamental things needed to make a relationship successful and worth while.
It’s not easy what you are going through ❤️ I hope I helped and made sense. ?
“towards the end” you said this. If this was consent (I don't believe it constitutes consent) then it was obtained considerably later than it should have been.
This would be a dealbreaker for me. Sorry.
It can be very hot to think fast when something like this is just sprung on you. Still, she can't expect you to keep this secret forever. Try to help her understand what this is all about, and offer to help her make a plan for ending the deception, but give her a deadline or two for action as well. Otherwise, you compromise your own integrity too.
I strongly believe this isn't the case though. I'm not worried about my girlfriends intentions. I'm not even that worried about the guy's intentions either. I'm most worried about her safety in general.
“She Hit Me” Leave.
You have a dead bedroom that primarily focuses on her needs, she's abusive, and she wanted you to apologise? What the fuck. Your friends advice is pointless too since they're operating with literally no information.
Leave him now, he’s shown you who he is and it’s not an accident he chose a young and inexperienced woman. Either adopt the child out or raise it yourself if it’s too late for an abortion. You want this guy in your and your child life as little as possible.
She hasn't been expressing that love interest she did. I finally got her to talk about it yesterday and it felt like I had to pry her open to having a conversation about her feelings she said she “just doesn't know if she wants to be in a relationship right now”.
I feel like I have been very supportive so far with her mom passing. There is so much to this that would take so much time to write out and for people to read. I tried to pack the most important details here. But as I said, I feel like I have been supportive through the situation. But again, these are all problems that existed before her mom passed, they've just gotten worse since then.
As far as what she does around the house, she'll pick up small messes from time to time, but other than that I'm pretty much on my own. We could both be sitting in our living room at night and hear one of the kids wake up, I'll always be the one to go get them. I know you'll probably assume that I'm exaggerating, but I'm really not. When our oldest comes home from school, I'll be the one to get him off the bus, while she's in the bedroom on her phone or playing video games. It seems she only wants to do anything when we're at her mother's house taking care of her things and affairs
I hope you stretched before that reach. Wouldn’t want to pull a muscle.
you are overthinking. I go hours without texting people back. Has nothing to do with how I feel about them. No one should be expected to reply immediately. That's controlling behavior. Don't be that guy.
She's probably never going to be “100% sure” and you insisting that she has to be before you'll take no for an answer isn't really fair at all. She doesn't want kids – if she *really* wanted a kid with even a 20% chance she would be fine taking the pill because if she forgot and accidentally got pregnant it wouldn't be that big of a deal. The IUD getting replaced with another IUD at 35 is your neon colored answer.
He stole money from you. Moving your paycheck back to your personal account isn't financial abuse. It's protecting yourself financially. Move it and tell him that, even though he brushed off what he did, you feel differently, and it's your nude earned money. Also, when is this guy paying it back? Because you should get your share of the money back first before your fiance.
Well, he’ll be identifying as Single soon enough
My wife has a GED, and says all the jobs that would hire her are abusive. I've been trying to get her to lower her spending, but she says ok and then I find out she somehow got a high interest credit card she's not paying even the minimum on.
She also refuses to hear it if I try to tell her that I might have to settle for a lower paying job, even a part time job if they can get me in sooner because a paycheck was a paycheck.
On the way inside she muttered that she'd rather deal with cheating than possibly losing our home.
Your wife only loves you for your money. No one would ever say these things to a person they actually love. Divorce her now before she gets pregnant and this gets messy. I'm sorry to be the one to say this to you friend, she doesn't love you just your money and the ability to be lazy.
Yeah entering the working world is a scary thing for college kids and the commitment of a long term relationship is adding to that I think — so our “normal” working life seems dull and someone at a rave seems exciting.
But it’s not gonna last and I think she realized that after we talked; she’s chasing attention like a lot of people do when their life gets mundane.
Why do you think they’re committing suicide? If everyone actually had the attitude you claim to that is their bodies and they can do whatever they want as long as they’re not harming anyone then we could all just mind our own business and be fine. But there’s an active bullying campaign against trans people in this country, both culturally and legislatively, and it must be absolutely miserable to be on the receiving end of it.
Or if I say something hurt me he will just say things like “am I supposed to be perfect all the time?” Or “I guess I’m just a terrible boyfriend”
He is manipulative and emotionally abusive.
You basically don't have a boyfriend right now. In a relationship you're supposed to be open about your feelings and communicate with each other. You are right that his behavior is unacceptable.
He is not going to change. So what are you going to do about it? You've talked to him about this multiple times. He is not going to change. You deserve better.
Dump This Mother Fucker!
You're a very bitter woman.
Other than loss of trust, this is my biggest fear. I wanted to tell him the truth immediately but he applied for his first promotion and got it a week later. It was so quick, and these past 4 months have flown by. I’m so in love with this new and improved version of him, I don’t want him to revert back. Honestly a small part of me feels like was my career success making him feel emasculated somewhere deep inside? Why did he not feel as motivated before? I don’t get why I had to “stop working” for him to get the kick he needed. I’ve always been a die naked feminist, like the ridiculous ones to be offended if he opened a door for me, but I really like this traditional old school thing the older I get. And I really can envision myself not working a job I hate just for money. Maybe some men need to feel like traditional providers to excel, I don’t know.
The fact that even with your tendency to overlook things you noticed so many says plenty
Thisss
That your a pervert, and a delusional one at that too.
Your life isn’t going to become a big gangbang as soon as your single, and do you really think someone’s going to commit to you later in life after you dropped someone great so you could fuck about?
Where are you getting 5 hours from
Who cares what other people think? Your life is in danger.
Oui, mais je sais pas wesh, je savais pas ce qu'il faisait. Pour te dire, j'aime encore la version qu'il m'est présentée, mais au fond du coeur je sais que je suis amoureuse d'un mec qui n'existe pas
He sounds like an idiot
Absolutely. I just feel like an attorney preparing their closing statement. I know the jury has to take the time to decide on their own but I just hope to god I’m saying everything I can say and saying it well enough to convince him to leave the door open a crack, even if he’s feeling done right now.
Lesbian relationships are so entertaining to me as a Male. They have the highest divorce rate and gay men have the lowest (in terms of measuring it by sexual orientation.) And I wonder why??