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I would also maybe incorrectly assume that the rent she is paying is less than what rent would be for an apartment of her own..
How is figure and health not the same issue.
Tell her if she keeps up this behaviour, not only will she not be your first, she won't be your last either. There's literally nothing you can do about this short of inventing a time machine.
Your wedding, your rules. If I were in your shoes, I would invite your friend as maid of honor and not her boyfriend. If she then decides that she cannot attend your wedding without her boyfriend, that's her choice.
If she comes to you and straight up asks you why boyfriend is not invited, you tell her straight and honestly that he is a scumbag loser and a complete waste of carbon and oxygen, that you cannot stand how he treats her and that while she is welcome, he is most definitely not and will be ejected by security and/or trebuchet when he does try to show up.
Feel free to tell me Iām being a complete pushover too, I know Iām mad soft so if the solution is to grow a pair, please tell me straight up.
It's easier to say this kind of stuff standing on the outside without any skin in the game. I understand this is a tough cookie to crack.
Repeat the mantra: your wedding, your rules. And you cannot save the people who do not want to be saved.
Accountant here – I like simple things to explain complicated things. So I would make a spreadsheet with maybe five columns. Put the total cost of the property at the top.
Label them Date, Reason, My Name, Her Name.
Every time something goes towards the mortgage, make an entry on the spreadsheet with the amount going under the name of the person who paid it.