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Definitely. But i feel like i need to respect myself and probably cut one off. Sucks but it might be bro
Go for it! Go one a date date and see how it goes
Hmm, I’m not sure I agree. I think both partners need to be mindful of each other, and that includes respecting another persons grief. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, and there is no timeline because grief is for life. And yes, it’s important for the person we’re dating to know what role the late person plays and what our process is, but for someone to get in a relationship and then expect you to change how you feel or how you deal with the loss is not ok.
I will say that though, the grief you feel never goes away. My dad has been gone many years and there is just no amount of therapy that can take it away. You just learn to cope with it and let it grow smaller with time, but it will always be there. And there’s no right or wrong way to go about it. I still very much talk to my dad and have photos of him around the house, we talk about him and all laugh at the completely hilarious situations he used to get himself in.
If someone is not comfortable with the way we grieve then absolutely that is their boundary to set – then it becomes a mismatch and both should look for a relationship elsewhere. Boundaries are something we can only set for ourselves, not for other people
Something to add, is you told him you weren’t available and he took you at your word, which is what should happen in a healthy relationship. He had no reason to even think to ask you again, because he believed you the first time when you said you weren’t free. If he was then to say “if you’re not free I’ll have to ask my ex”, he would come across as blackmailing you into helping him, which is not what should happen in a relationship. The poor guy had 3 options: ask his ex, reschedule his presumably important surgery, risk injury or death by being alone or guilt trip you when you already made it clear you weren’t free. It is super unfair of you to be upset at him when he chose the best of a few bad options. You’re allowed to feel uneasy about it as we cannot control our emotions, but it is your responsibility to take accountability for the way you’re feeling and work it out within yourself, rather than blaming him for your reaction.
I think, its okay, you wouldn’t want your girlfriend to be homeless either. Keeping apart the ego, Wasn’t it nice someone could help her when you couldn’t. And they were also considerate enough to think about your feelings. I feel there is nothing now that should make you feel emasculated. But accepting reality positively can help you. Talk to them how you feel about this if you can.
You have to be trolling. Because otherwise you are no better than your gf. Both of you at AHs
Give yourself time to grieve and then focus on yourself. Do you get any support for reintegration?
As for starting a new relationship, lots of people end up single in later life and find love again. Different circumstances but people have 10, 20, 30+ year relationships end and then have the date again. There is lots of information available live.
True, I find Americans as alarmist about drinking. Yet think painkiller abuse/pills are nothing
I confronted her this morning via text and she says she has nothing to say and feels terrible, and deserves to be dumped for it.
That about sums it up.
Have an open conversation with him and tell him how you feel, maybe take a moment before to think about what you would like him to do. I've had that issue with my ex like he was very vanilla and I'm not exactly into that. I didn't communicate it well enough I think but if you're not on the same page it can be very hot on the relationship. You sound as if sex is very important to you and for me it's fundamental for a working relationship. Do help him out though and give him some things he can really work with
Sorry OP you absolutely can not be certain, at all that she didn't cheat. It's quite possible that she didn't but absolutely do not be certain.
Ultimately very sorry but my advice is move on. My rule is never take breaks – ever. Life is full of challenges and difficult times. Only stay with a partner who is willing to stick with you and work through the challenges and difficult times together. Separate to work on yourself is unmitigated bullshit. That's something committed couples do together.
A man of 35 who even had “30 pounds of muscle” to lose is probably someone who gleaned a lot of his confidence and self image from his physicality. It's not that he needs you to tell him he's still “sexy” but that he, in his own skin, feels weak and unable to live up to the way he always thought of himself. It's sometimes difficult for women to grasp how much of some guys' entire self worth is tied up in believing they could defend themselves in a physical fight. He probably needs some counseling to adjust to getting older and no longer being that virile guy he once saw himself as. Point being, it's not about you. So maybe try to put your own insecurities aside to help him get through this. It's a major adjustment to have to accept that you're no longer the person you've always thought yourself to be. Work with him, not against him.
Yeah, I told him about how I feel about it but he just says we will figure it out. He's optimistic about it working out somehow. I'm the one that's in doubt :/