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Buddy that brain fog you are speaking about is highly depression and sleepless night. You are working at home and outside home and you need to stand up for yourself and defend yourself, because she will not stop.
She is an entitled brat and is swallowing you rather than building you up and making mature conversation. She seems to get off by abusing and degrading you and no good woman does that. She seems to view you like a doormat. Tell her in a conversation that either she steps up and start working or just do the house chores since she is mostly at home doing nothing.
If you treat yourself like a doormat, so will others. No one should talk to an adult and especially their HUSBAND like that.
A tip I have gotten from my best friend: cut them off completely until you know that you don't care anymore. I mean with that, that you should delete everything you have of them, maybe give their number to a friend for safekeeping, but other than that, block them evrywhere, delete all pictures, tell everyone you don't want to hear about her anymore, but most importantly: find yourself activites that keep you happy. It's fine to see her once in a while, but don't let that get to you, it can only get better.
To be truly healthy in life, you need to be happy with yourself first, so thats also the first step to getting over a relationship of that sort.
Hope this helps
The OF thing is a bit creepy. Social media just bumps it up another creepy notch. This does prove “ once you post anything on the internet , anyone can see it”. I’m pretty selective what I post. That and I doubt many people would pleasure themselves to photos of a 58 yr old weightlifter ( then again…OF…..hmm).
You have two choices- break up with him, or stay, knowing you are his second choice.