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Get a job. Any job. Even part time or minimum wage for now just for you to have some income while you look for another architect job if that's what you want to do. If you have any savings you can move out?
Break up with your partner then – if you already think your differences are too much to overcome and you will resent them if you stay – leave. But make sure to get your logistics in order too. Make sure you have somewhere to stay and such.
Why don't you approach her and say want to go on a dinner date with me. See how she responds. I've never been in this situation but a friend has. She started dating she would to second guess if she was ready. Especially when intimacy was in the picture. I would say if your friend ever goes through that don't take it personally and be supportive. Thankfully my friend got through it but they had some hard times and hurt ego. But she couldn't help how things made her feel.
I feel like this may be a deeply rooted ideology
It might be that, and now that the relationship is progressing she feels comfortable enough to let her mask slip. It might be her having a sort of existential crisis coming to terms with a world that is stacked against her because of something she has no control over, and lashing out gives her a feeling of control. It might be something specific that happened recently that brought these feelings to the surface. There is no way to know, and she might not know for sure herself.
You can call her on her bs excuses, ask if she truly believes what she is saying and why, but any change(especially for something like this) has to come from her.
One of the best pieces of advice I have ever heard is to date someone because of who they are, not because of who you hope they might become. Look for a partner, not a project.
Two years ago you were twenty, several others have way more conflicting details. Anyways, I wonder if you know the stuff you think you have deleted, on reddit, still shows on the internet?
Find another place to online. If you need a roommate, there are sites for people looking for roommates.
End it with Fboy. Get tested for STDs.
Leaving will be the best thing you can do for yourself. Block him and your family.