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She should be off limits if you're really a friend
no I didn’t mean it like that, I meant it in the context of just her sayinh something to me and I said the guy thing in the response to her, when I meant guy/girl, I meant girl, specifically her, as I have orher 5 friends who are girls and I don’t share that issue with them except one other girl.
Maybe it wasn’t clear, M (the guy) was the one who showed me the texts, not Z, Z just told me she stopped him but M showed me the texts that she did not ask him to stop and then other messages of her flirting back
If I married the guy I dated at 26 I would be happily divorced. Instead, I married the guy I met at 28. We are 34 now and life is pretty awesome.
That some people raise their girls this way, or contribute to the “Sex is mostly for the man and it's the duty for the women to provide it” is, IMO, hugely damaging to women, to men, to relationships. And it runs rampant in some religious circles.
In fact, while it's not in the west, some religious give women vasectomies so that for their entire life they will never get much if any pleasure.
Even women who aren't raised by or around the religious can end up being influenced by it.
Again, this isn't to excuse OPs gf. Like I mentioned, I'm just bringing up something that some women experience. I have no idea what the % is. I might be completely off the mark but hey, thought I'd put it out there.
You are failing your daughter by allowing your wife to treat her like an other. By staying with her you are telling your daughter you agree. That’s all there is to it
I don't think it's a problem to not online together before you get married. I do think it's a problem though to marry someone who has never lived independently of mummy and daddy. That's your sister's problem.
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We first started dating almost 8 years ago. I own my house and he rented an apartment. Right off the bat he started wanting to be together pretty regularly. Initially I thought it was just the honeymoon phase. I attempted to set boundaries and started by trying to let me have one set day a week to myself. On that day he would call me with plans and ideas but then say something like “oh but it’s your day to yourself. I guess we can’t do anything.” So I changed it up to a floating day that way if something was going on he wouldn’t feel like it’s off limits. Eventually he would call me crying that I didn’t want to see him on those days and I would cave and let him come over because I would feel horrible.
About three months in I invited him to stay over one night and he essentially never left. He was over all the time and my ability to have alone time disappeared. When I would ask him to give me space he would say he doesn’t understand why I would need alone time or vaguely accuse me of cheating because I wanted time away from him. He would tell me that on my car ride to work I am alone so that counts as alone time. If I wanted to go out with friends without him he would get upset because he didn’t understand why I would want space away from him. I would come home and he would give me the silent treatment for a while.
I would take the small times when he was at work and I had a day off for my alone time. I’ve worked full time so it was a rare occasion but I needed them. But about 3 years ago he completely quit his job. He said he wanted to be a twitch streamer and if he pursued that I don’t know because he wouldn’t speak to me about it. This meant he was home all the time. He schedules time with his friends while I’m working and will only do things while I’m at work. If I get home and he’s playing video games with his friends he will quit. About two months ago he got a new job but made sure to find something he could work from home to do. Although now he’s complaining and I think he will be quitting soon.
I’m at my wits end. I feel like I’ve completely lost myself and don’t trust myself at all. I’ve felt like this isn’t healthy but he’s so adamant I’m wrong i don’t know what to think anymore.
Edit: Thank you to everyone so much for the advice. This is a little overwhelming. Several people have asked if this is what I want my life to be like and the answer is it’s not. But I don’t even know where to begin to get out. If I’m completely honest I am a little scared of him. He has never been physical with me but has always been very quick to anger with strangers and have confrontations with them. I have animals and take care of my elderly mom now because my dad recently passed that are factors in this story. If anyone has any suggestions on what my next steps are please let me know.