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Not together. He is still asking to get back together but I really dont think it's good idea. Thank you.
Sometimes people just lose feelings because their partner isn't really the one who they want to be with. Sometimes it has nothing to do with effort or trying harder. It can just be not what they were looking for or incompatible. I understand that you have feelings for this person, but in what happy relationship is there where only one person has feelings and the other doesn't. You can't change feelings. It is a natural thing and it goes away when you don't feel like this is the relationship you want. Your friends telling you to breakup because they trying to tell you what is best for you. Which would be to not pursue a one sided relationship. Only someone who doesn't care about you would want you to fall in a deep hole and ruin your mental health. At the end of the day, feelings are not something you can buy or force. You can only find someone who likes you back the same amount as you do. There is no such thing as liking someone one sidedly and changing them. Think about it. You are trying to convince someone how they should feel about you. What type of people do you think try to change how people feel?
Sorry, this ain't it. You're just gonna have to do it and accept the shit show that follows. No one that old should be with someone who can't legally drink alcohol
Yes, but it’s still a massive breach of trust. A small risk is still a risk, and many people would prefer to know so they can also take PEP to keep themself even safer. She took that decision away from him.
We've moved to a new state and I don't have any friends here right now. A lot of my friends can't afford a trip right now so I'd have to cover their cost (which I'm willing to do), but you have to admit, traveling with a friend is still not the same as traveling with a spouse.
Coming out of the closet – kool-aid man style
It sounds like all the effort is coming from your end, and none from his. And unless he decides to value you and this relationship more, then there's nothing much you can do.
Do you feel like he is still in love with you, or has this relationship become one of convinience for him?
Quit sexting other women
Thanks for your advice. She still describes it as a sudden urge to go out more and feeling more alive with me and with new friends (she hasnt met yet). She also has no contact to her group from university as far as i know.
Whenever i start talking about this topic and talk about my feelings it doesnt feel right. She feels cold and when I confront her with exactly that she says I just dont understand her and that I handle things different than her. I know her for 8 years tho and it just doesnt feel right.
She came home and didnt stay anywhere else and yes she still wants to delay the wedding for the same reasons. We already cancelled everything for this year.
I understand your viewpoint, but you are missing the motivation, which is not to dominate but shock the person out of NRE and back to reality.
The opposite behavior of being a doormat, begging for attention, almost certainly would have a lower probability of success.
I’ll agree there may be a middle road that could be successful where op maintains his self respect, and calls wife to account, but if that doesn’t work the shock approach is less likely to work and he will almost surely end up divorced.
But, if we are stuck with your words, I would say what powerful women understand is dominance.
Ultimatums are a manipulation tactic to get someone to do what you want them to do (or not do) and they are nasty, nasty things. They also require follow through, and that's the hard part for a lot of people which makes it one of the biggest mistakes you can make. You're trying to force your bf to stay home from a trip with his friends. We get why. But stop saying you trust him then. Because if you legitimately and seriously trusted him you wouldn't care if anyone tried to hook up with him because you'd know in your heart of hearts it would never happen. He would never let it, and he's the only one you should be concerning yourself with, stop worrying about the girl. Idk why you even let her in your head, or why you care what she says about you. She's in his friend group, he's not leaving his friends, it's a shitty situation but you're giving her way too much power. Every time you let it bother you, every time you get sad or upset you're letting her win. Why? She doesn't act the way she does for him. She does it for you. She can sense your insecurity, girls like her always can. Stop giving her the satisfaction of having power over you and your relationship. I've been with my partner a long time, I'd never keep him from going anywhere. He could be thrown into a den of very hot strippers that are all in love with him and I know with 100% certainty he wouldn't touch a single one (or let them touch him haha). HOWEVER…IF I were to ask him to not go on some trip or just out one night with his friends for whatever reason, I know I wouldn't have to ask more than once and he wouldn't even ask me why. I realize that kind of implicit trust comes with time, but how do you think we got there? By trusting along the way. I saw someone say that you deserve a soft life with a man that doesn't make you uncomfortable or something like that, but if you control your partner to the point you never need to trust him because he just does what you say, what kind of relationship is that? To get to the place of true partnership and everything that comes along with it, all the comfort and security of that bond, that connection, you have to go through the discomfort. You have to go through the vacations with friends who like him, the nights out with your girlfriends where you might get hit on…that time apart from each other where you're in a situation that requires you to make a choice. As long as you both always choose the relationship, always choose each other, your PARTNER, you will get to that place. Are you going to let this girl stop you from getting there?
early on in our relationship I had brought up wanting a threesome. Her response was she would consider it and get back to me (no problem). I gave her all the time she wanted, about a year if that matters. Brought it up again same response. Okay I'll give her more time.
If she changes her mind, she will let you know, but feeling you are being misled because you are not getting something she never promised you is a “you problem”. I do not know whether any threesome would be acceptable to you, or if you are only interested if the “third” is a woman, because you have not said, but I'll be honest with you… Most men want a FFM threesome and want anal. Most women really don't.
Did I imply or did I just give 3 scenarios in one evening that she was wrong?
Honestly as someone who had a bit of a glow up later in life(like early to mid 20s) I notice myself do this too. I put way too much emphasis on being considered physically attractive because I wasn’t for most of my life, so he’s probably newly attractive and still has leftover baggage from being a bit awkward or ugly looking growing up.