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  1. You tell him you aren't attending & the reason why as straightforward as possible. E.g. “Dad, I'm sorry for the late notice but I will not be attending Christmas at your place. I've been made aware of racist comments has made about . I love you, but I can't have a relationship with someone who is so racist & so disrespectful of my brother's relationship. I will be spending Christmas supporting instead.”

    Don't apologise for not going, don't tell him what to do to fix it. Just lay it out: stepmother's actions –> consequences.

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