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I guess I didn’t even mean validation, more support/back up but you’re right
Ya just break up what’s the point
I think your wife’s condition is more advanced than mine, so she’s probably tried anything I have and a hundred more things – plus I don’t know for sure that it’s even the same condition (I have PsA, which is similar to RA), but as a person with a chronic pain condition here are some things you havent mentioned that could help: – A chronic illness/pain support group. You said she’s in individual therapy, but with pain it can be really easy to get into a miserable, lonely place where there’s nobody in your life who really gets what it’s like to be constantly in pain. Support groups genuinely helped me with this. Also could take a bit of the emotional load off you. – Meds. I’m sure she takes medicine to manage her condition (although perhaps another consult with her medical team is in order, if whatever was working when you married her isn’t anymore) but has she tried any sort of antidepressant or mood stabilizer? This was a game changer for me in terms of the hopelessness. – Mobility aids. I would be willing to bet that your wife feels like she doesn’t or shouldnt need a walker/wheelchair because she CAN walk, but anything that would let the two of you go out and do things as a couple again I think should be seriously on the table. This is one I’ve been putting off for myself because I always feel like my condition isn’t severe enough, but, like, if it’s useful, then the condition is severe enough. That’s all I can think of off the top of my head. I really feel for you. Just know that 100% she feels guilty for how her condition affects you and wishes she could be better too. She’s not doing this on purpose.
her dm was a small emoji no text. I saw that the convo naturally ended
Saying only that no and then with a sad face say ” I love you and I want you too” is not communication!!!!
Yes, it is. Your opinion that it is disrespectful does not actually make it that for everyone else in the world.
I am trying to do just that. Trying to take things one day at a time. On somedays it gets difficult but i get by. Thankyou for the constant encouragement.
So I asked her what was wrong which she replied with “nothing” I kept asking her until she finally reluctantly said “I'm sorry but I can't with light on because your face is really turning me off right now” so there we were laying in awkward silence for a minute which was broken by my wife saying “can you turn the lights off so we could continue”
As harsh as this is…….Damn, yes, it's HARSH ??, this statement and feeling didn't just come out of nowhere and I'm pretty certain there's to it than the “weight gain” in your face(unless that said weight gain is 70lbs plus and she's been been running purely on “but I love this man” energy for some time).
Everything was going great then all of a sudden she just was checked out just laying there.
To me – “checked out” = “fuck…I can't anymore…” Probe for the root cause of this. Noone who loves a person says such a cold-hearted thing. Something has broken…….. What's been the status of your sexlife the last few months?