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If you're both aware of what this guy did and you don't involve the police then you're both complicit. It sounds like your POS boyfriend is fine with it. You should call the police or you're just as bad. Then break up with your bf. He's not a good person.
You might have a smaller cock??‍♂️
Maybe he was just too tired?
I agree, just break it off. It’s creepy for a 27 year old to give the time of day to a 16 year old no matter how you spin it. Believe your intuitive insight and just block him, ignore him, and find someone else but my advice is to avoid chat rooms for anything other than platonic/casual conversations. The facade of being separated by a screen can give someone the advantage of coming across however they want to, it can become manipulative.
It’s such a goofy concept too. Cats can and will be your best friend if you allow them to have their safe space. If you treat animals like family, they’ll seriously be obnoxious with their love! Some people just don’t realize cats show their love in a host of different ways, and OP’s boyfriend is a complete dickhead.
Bullying an animal because you don’t like it? Major red flags. That’s just gross
ok that old chestnut.
Your gut is telling you the truth here – listen to it
Maybe when he's living with 2 siblings and 2 in-laws, it will get old. That's the only foreseeable compromise that I can see.
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Ignore the pedophile comments nobody in 2023 understands the sheer depth of that awful word.
You covered up that you’re 27 instead of 26??? This is hysterical! I think she’ll just laugh it off
Bad enough she cheated on you, but that she raw dogged it with the guy shows she has zero respect for you.
Divorce.
Predatory? Are you insane? You freaks need to stop infantalizing grown adults
Nope. Not her business, you were single.
TBF you dont really need to put that /s to that last part, Reddit tried being internet detectives when the Boston Bombing happened and falsely accused a kid of being the Bomber. The kid had already been missing for several days so to the Reddit Detectives they took it as more evidence he was the Bomber. They ended up Doxxing him and ruining the kid and his families reputations.
In the end it turned out the kid didnt do it, because he had committed suicide before the bombing even happened. Thats why he was missing. But it was too late, Reddit already ruined that families reputation by accusing the kid and Doxxing him
Look u can argue all u want but I know what I know is true. PLEASE come back with an update.
Definitely confront him – he is not respecting you and your feelings.
What's the difference when she is bisexual?
I say this with kindness, OP, but I’m not sure there’s much here worth addressing. Instead, I’d suggest some soul-searching and self-preparation to make some big life changes, bolstered by the resounding feedback you’re receiving here.
Some questions to reflect on:
What does he bring to the relationship? How does he care for you or make you feel loved, supported, and considered? What contributions and sacrifices does he make (and make voluntarily and proactively, without being prompted)? How often do you feel prioritized?
A healthy partnership is a two-way street founded on mutual respect, trust, care and consideration for one another. Is this the only aspect of the relationship that feels one-sided?
Adulting is hot work and lots of responsibility. What kind of a future are you realistically able to envision with a partner who behaves this way? Do you foresee a healthy balance in areas outside of finances? Think about division of labor with things like childcare, decision making, home maintenance, day to day chores and errands, mental labor (eg scheduling appointments, planning vacations, shopping for holiday and birthday gifts, and maintaining the family calendar, etcetera ad infinitum).
Do you really want to build a life with someone who needs to be told they aren’t contributing their fair share? Or who turns it around on you and claims you’re trying to control their finances when we both know that’s a manipulative cop-out, and you’ve been entirely too generous already with little to no reciprocity? Are you happy with a partner who doesn’t love and give freely, and reciprocate your efforts gladly? Can you be content with a partner who not only fails to reciprocate, but doesn’t take initiative, either?
I suspect you already know the answers to these questions deep down, and I suspect his attitude about sharing expenses is indicative of a much larger pattern of selfishness, lack of care and consideration, inequity, and inability to commit and participate in a true partnership. I suspect (and sincerely hope) you know that you deserve better.
But it’s difficult to let go of people we love and care for, the shared history and attachments we’ve built, and perhaps most of all, all the hopes and visions we’d had and cherished for the future. There’s a lot there to unpack, to let go of, and to grieve. But now is an excellent time to be as honest with yourself as possible — about your relationship, about who your partner is and what he is (or isn’t) bringing to the table, and most of all, about who you are and what you really want for your life. Then all you have to do is steel yourself up to make some big changes, go out into the world, and find it.
You aren’t crazy. You’re fabulously generous, caring, loving, and patient. And you deserve all of those qualities and more in a partner, who eagerly meets you halfway and sometimes more, to show you how loved and appreciated you are every day.
If you're not on the same page with finances and spending, you're just gonna have loads of trouble down the road.
If the person you're with does not feel whatever kindness in their heart to be at least somewhat generous and pitch in their half and maybe a little extra sometimes….then nope, why bother? Just be on your own and pay 100% for one instead of 100% for two people….
Yeah.. like you and someone other guy said.. there’s nothing to lose.. anyway.. i approach rejections as redirection.. i’ll cry for a few days.. but ultimately I’ll know it’s not meant to be…
Tell me about it. This really isn't how I thought this might end.
You don't do it. You've been told clearly once. You've offered subsequently and clearly been told again (by silence except for casual chat). Listen and respect what you've been told. Move on.
“Hey Billy…… it's not working out.
Sorry”
Yeah I guess I do it because he said this is my fault.
As I explained to my wife the first time this happened:
If Im involved you have my consent. If you kiss her and I cant. You cant. If I can kiss her and be involved too. Then go for it.
If not then no.
There’s actually studies that show women sleep better with dogs. Sooo… take that as you will.
My dude has no issue with dogs in the bed and frankly I’d have tolerated nothing less.
A psychotherapist would be a good bet. Take your time and find one who's understanding and listens to you and you feel comfortable with.
I think you're blowing this out of proportion. It's sad that you were cheated on in the past, but it sounds like you're being paranoid. so to react to seeing a glimpse of a picture of a girl by crying and considering dumping your bf is extreme.
He offered to show you the group, but you refused. That was proof that he wasn't doing anything. so to answer your questions:
what would you do?- I would look at the group to confirm it's nothing and then put it behind me.
are my feelings valid?- not really, since there's no evidence to suggest he did anything wrong
would you leave?- no
is he lying? – from how you've told the story, unlikely, but until you look at the group he offered to show you, how would anyone know?
They told her the letter exists. They shouldn't have done that but didn't realize that at the time. It wasn't malicious.
Highly agreed. I'm surprised so many people think mom is the problem. Why are we making this about the kids? If he and his wife are having problems, that's one thing, but what power does she have over them to accept him as a father figure?
For every family thats successfuly merged there are plenty out there with kids that will never view the step parent as their “real dad” no matter how much mom wants to push and support that narrative.
If the kids being typical kids is enough to break their marriage and committment to her then it is what it is I guess, but lets not pretend she was his priority in that case.
I’d tell her to leave ASAP to be completely frank… I’m just struggling to do that as so many keep telling me “it’s difficult when you have a small child, but it’ll get better” and I mean if it does than we’ll have no issues – however it’s not working right now. At times I feel unwelcome in my own home, and there’s no way that’s normal…
It changed around her 4 month mark. I know he was “jealous” that I got to be home with her and he worked, but then we switched so he took half the parental leave while I went back to work – and yet the behavior did not change….
You've never been in love but this doesn't feel like love?
So how do you know what love is? Movies? Books? Friends?
Tell you what, find an older married couple and see if any of that fictional played-up horse crap is real. Love isn't a spotlight on your faces, and music swelling up as you kiss. Love is knowing you would do anything to protect that person from ANYTHING negative that comes their way. Love is knowing they feel the same way.
In all fairness, what you are likely thinking of is LUST. The first few months after meeting someone new when you want to consume every bit of info they have to tell or show you. Lust is when they walk in the room and you day is suddenly amazing. Lust is feeling like the rest of the world can't be as happy as you are.
You skipped the lust years. You didn't do anything like dating for 5 years. You know this man better than family now and you LOVE him.
He knows it. That's why he told you. He knows you better than anyone else.
This is love. It's not the fireworks of lust and infatuation… but it is so so so much more satisfying.
Work is not a good excuse, if he cares for you he needs to make the time and it is very obvious you love him because you are clearly making excuses for him.
I'm (m61) and gave my life for my career in broadcasting which now I'm working at a Has Station and not a Radio Station. Time goes too damned fast…I'm sorry, No job is a good excuse
Just leave the ungrateful female.