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Your lifestyle only works if it's ethical. You were not ethical at all. You lied to her, cheated on her and continually pressured her to do things she doesn't want to do. You are not living a “lifestyle”, you are a cheater who's wondering why your partner isn't comfortable with your cheating lifestyle.
You know she wants monogamy. You see the stress it causes her but you still keep pressuring her.
I came clean about most of everything and told her I'd stop completely to invest in our life together and that I wanted to be with her forever and tbh i hate it!
You are continually manipulating her. So you were “mostly” truthful about your cheating and then manipulatively told her you would invest in your life with her but you're already not invested and not intending to stop. Stop lying to her. Be honest. If she knew the truth she wouldn't want to be with you.
Are you OK with her having bfs and bringing guys into the bedroom? Encourage her to do that and not just what you want her to do. It would be very rare for a woman to want a weekly threesome to satisfy her selfish, crappy partner. Or better yet, break up with her. Once she is away from you for awhile she'll see how toxic you were for her. She's young and nieve now… but once she gets some distance she will be much happier without you. Soon you'll just be a bad traumatic memory of how shitty you treated her.
Some things are black and white issues. This is one of them.
I’m ng you just sound jealous. Like straight jealous. You have no reason to think he’s cheating or anything just admit you want all of his attention cuz that’s what it’s sounding like.
He's your ” partner” but has zero say if you kill his child or don't? You sound psychotic.