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Never said take care of me, just the majority of the vacation!
I was thinking the same thing. The hitting things, anger transference, yelling at OP for things beyond her control is classic cop behavior.
I'm just gonna guess that this was a Desi family, OP correct me if I'm wrong. (If I'm right, check r/ABCDesis)
But I can tell you, I was in the same foot as you – 19M. I basically had these…let just say abusive people that raised me for 18 years of hell and back, but now I'm basically moved out a while ago where I'm living in OK condition with a few roommates. I'm going to college doing the same major as you and doing a part time semi-dangerous security job working somewhere between 24-40 hours a week.
What I can tell you though is this – hang in there, as you shouldn't let the culture you're born in no matter the circumstances to make the best out of yourself. Don't let these shitty people get to you, and cut them off whenever you have the chance to do so.
In the meantime, start planning out everything – take a part time gig, go to the gym, and block schedule your classes and assignments out. I'd also start journaling and meditating, as these two things helped me somewhat when I was going through the moments.
Make sure that if it is possible for you to graduate early as well. I know loans are fucking you over, but you're in the UK presumedly, so if you can get yourself a semi decent paying gig, save and pay off debt, don't buy stuffs and keep delaying the gratifications.
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There is no “enough”
Your dedication to him is admirable but considering what he's done sounds like neglect if not blatant abuse, it's better spent on better people
If you don't on-line together it's easy. Tell her and explain why. Tell her you don't wish to talk to her anymore and then block everywhere.
How is he being manipulative?
Don’t lie to him or keep trying to hide it, it seems he’s picking up on it.
Also don’t, and while I doubt you will, go fool around with girls to “discover yourself”. If you wanna do that break up with him first. I only mention this because there is a disturbing amount of people who don’t, and then use that excuse to try and justify your cheating.
So the dogs are just happy to sleep in the guest room by themselves?
That seems unlikely. Or is the real issue that you sleep in the guest room with the dogs?
So this is what I see:
-agreed it was time to move in -agreed on no dogs in bedroom -dogs not able to adjust to new arrangements -you start sleeping in guest room with dogs instead of sleeping with boyfriend
What was the point in moving in? So if boyfriend deals with his snoring, you will be ok to resume sleeping in shared bedroom without dogs?
I’m confused about what the problem is if the gf said he could? I mean, all 3 were drunk but gf told him to do it. I don’t see what the problem is.
Feed him a few grams of shrooms and he'll be Mary fuggin Poppins for a month or more.
Well not now he can't, he's already told her Even if it's just a thought and he knows he would never entertain the idea she can't pretend she didn't hear it
But this is why relationships are tricky because even with your partners you can't be 100% forthcoming
First off, its very considerate of you to offer to rent your sibling and their partner a room in your new house. Family is important and helping others is its own reward.
Second, you should not do this unless the rent money is something you and your boyfriend NEED to make the purchase financially sound. Your concerns don't make you crazy, they make you pragmatic. A new house is a BIG undertaking and unless your sibling states in no uncertain terms, “its your house to do with whatever you want, I will only be renting from you”, you should assume the whole thing will be messy. And I'm talking ruin your relationship with your sibling (and potentially your BF) level of messy.
In a perfect world, this is a non-issue. Your sibling covers some of the mortgage, you slightly prioritize the projects that benefit them and you, and they save money to get a house. A less perfect world lands you with a sibling that hasn't signed a rent contract, who has established tenant rights after 30 days of living with you, and who no longer sees a possibility of getting their own house and refuses to leave because they have been given cheaper than average rent. In that situation, they also voice issues over what gets done to the house and when, causing issues between all parties involved and regular arguments.
I would say the worst part here is that you and your BF won't have a couple month period to address the projects you want to prioritize. If you did, I'd be more optimistic but seeing as you and your sibling would be moving into the house around the same time, you wil be attempting to acclimate (4) people and (2) relationships into one house that will likely need renovation. Thats a hot situation to be in, and if you having lived with your sibling since moving out of your parents house, then I'd call that a firm no.
If you decide that all these issues are tiny and you can work through them, great! My only recommendation would be to talk about all the little things (with your partner and sibling) to make sure you are on the same page. These will be nude talks, but if you and your BF buy the house, it is your property and you get the final say. Your BFs opinion will be a higher priority than your siblings and that is only fair.
Either way, best of luck with embracing home owner ship! You deserve happiness and I hope you find it!