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What? It's not a boundary mate.
“Sorry, one of my boundaries is that I don't like to be falsely accused of rape.”
She is unhinged and incredibly dangerous. He needs to leave her immediately.
These people are not blood related, it's not illegal or unethical for them to get together.
And it's none of your business what they do with each other.
I think he thought about leaving for a while. All this time he went through the motion of loving you. It’s very thoughless of him to bring the fait accompli. He kept all his doubts and problems to himself but he’s blaming you for them. Probably he started to get interested in other women and instead of fixing what was broken the thought of missing something better was on his mind. Now you are grieving this relationship. He blinsided you. It’s best he’s done it before you married him and with children. Think also that this is the kind of man that could hide so much from you, betray you ,have a double life and you wouldn’t even know.
I am so sorry for your loss. This is going to hurt for a long time. The grieving process will feel slow and some people will tell you to get over it, ignore them, take all the time you need. Get up every day, brush your teeth. That’s it, that’s your goal.
I appreciate your comment, but I would like to clear things up because I feel like, based on your advice, you may be confused about some things. I agree with most of your first point, and I have told bf for a while now that he needs to really be on top of job hunting to find a career in his field. I was hoping he would realize how difficult it would be and learn about all of the qualifications he may need through just job hunting experience, and then be willing to settle for any job and just work towards one in his field. That being said, my income alone, despite being freshly out of trade school, could cover a studio apartment. With him making at least minimum wage, we could definitely afford a one-bedroom. I prefer not to online alone, though, which is why I am moving in with a friend. At this point, I am no longer interested in moving in with him yet. So that's a moot point either way. He has also never had a job, which I find concerning. Not in the service industry nor in his field. He's helped out in his family's farm, but even he's admitted that he sees that more as chores than work. I agree with you that he needs to have a job, I don't care how much he makes, but I do care about him having initiative. Most of what he is doing these days is staying at home playing video games or going to hang out with friends, and it's been this way for the last 5 months. I also wouldn't call these “demands” because I've been very clear with him that anything I ask of him is up for discussion. He does not like to discuss these “heavy” (his word, not mine) topics. Once again, thank you for the comment. I agree with you on just about every point you've made, I just feel I may not have made that clear enough. Much love.
I have adhd and struggle sometimes to keep the right frame of mind to focus on the feeling enough to cum… my partner getting on top and lets me concentrate on the feeling and intimacy without focusing on the thrusting or anything
I think this is the only possible scenario of your partner sleeping at his ex, that could still be fine, although I understand your concerns. So he was upfront from start that he will need one visit there to pick up his stuff. They are long distance so it's entirely possible and normal that there were delays in traffic. I also don't like driving between cities over the night so sleeping over in her guest room saves him a lot of trouble. So I could imagine myself on his place. But that being said, if my girlfriend did something like that, I would also be worried that she stayed there over night and maybe had sex with him so I understand you too. But in my opinion, as a guy, if you think that your relationship with him is strong including good sex life, I think he would not cheat you with his ex. In my opinion, you should remain calm and trust him and only in case if says he has some more stuff at her place, then I would be worried.