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Grow a pair and dignity.
Hello /u/Anonymous4050,
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There is way too many people in this couple.
Your first paragraph brushes through how you found it. I might be the only one but to me it reads like he came clean where in fact, 2 paragraphs later it turns out that you had to snoop to find out. I can’t help but think that if you didn’t, you’d never know.
Jill sounds either clueless or is maliciously setting you up. I can’t work out a scenario in which it is ok to suggest to a friend that they befriend their SO’s affair partner. And all because it would be nice for the three of you to hang out?! Jfc.
The person who should go above and beyond and way outside of their comfort zone to give you closure is your bf. You can’t just go around and say “hey, I wish I was single to see how things go with you” and leave it at that.
Do not respond to her demands. Each time you do, you open up the door, again, to rehash things and allow her to make more demands.
The relationship has run its course. End it cleanly and do not let her drag you back into unhelpful discourse.
Tell her you pay 500, but only if she also does.
thank you for your response. you mentioned another thing thats been running around my head. if this were to continue into a long term relationship, i would not be okay with my partner completely shutting me out in naked times. i really value vulnerability and communication, and my love language is caretaking so i feel like shit when im not allowed to show love to someone who needs it in the best way i know how. also, forgot to mention in the post, before he left he had told me to come over after he gets back so we could have a sleepover. i had a bag packed and i waited up for him to let me know when he landed but didnt even get a courtesy check-in. i am sad because i really like this person and think it could go the distance but stonewalling and the silent treatment is kind of a red flag for me. at this point, i expect the relationship to end. should i give him a few more days to see if he hits me up or should i just let him know straight up that this isnt gonna work for me? at the same time, i want to respect his pain and let him cope but… i dont like feeling like im at someones beck and call, idk how to express that to him.