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But you were in control the whole time. If you didn't want to spend 30k on a wedding, you simply could choose not to. She wouldn't force you at a gunpoint. It was your money.
Now however, your money is her money and you can't do shit. You can't make her go to work. She's going to be freeloading for the rest of her life and you are going to sponsor her until you die.
You can inform her that it is not acceptable and she either starts pulling her weight or you divorce. But you probably won't and I'm sure no amount of talking is going to make her change her mind. She wanted a doormat and she found one. I know it sounds rude and I wish I had some good advice, but you're screwed. You got a kid. You are tied to her one way or the other. I can't even say she's emotionally abusing you. You just cave in to all her demands. She has the right to want things and you have the right to decline, you just never use it. Most adults would just say lol no to a 30k wedding they can barely afford.
Yup. Pretentious much! Learn black history!
^
Look Op I hate to say it but you two need to break up it sounds like to me that you've been carrying the weight of this relationship which sounds very one-sided that you've been doing everything taking care of her during her depression making sure the house still stands make you do everything you can for her but it doesn't sound like she's done one thing for you I mean honestly she degrades you for wanting to make a smart decision in my opinion
For I will be honest this is not sound like a smart move to move to the richest country and for only a 3-month trial period because remember there's no guarantee she'll get it so you'll be stuck it's time to let It go if she wants to move and make it possible decision letter but it sounds like to me you've done too much. Stop trying to keep her warm by setting yourself on fire it sounds to me like you're not getting anything out of this relationship and honestly your whole post gave me anxiety just reading it because it sounds like to me you're acting what's end please put yourself first leave she is not worth it I don't care what y'all been through with her she's not grateful for anything you've done.
Don't you see OP all you are to her is a safety net for when things go bad she knows she'll take care of it but nothing more bro she literally said she'll leave you if you don't want to go with her that should tell you how she feels about you in this relationship she don't care she just been using you as a way to take care of yourself and you need to provide you don't really care about you.
It's time to move on get yourself some therapy put yourself first for once and get out of this toxic relationship and move on I promise you'll find somebody who actually cares about you and will treat you the same way that you treat them and will be willing to actually talk about issues and not just make impulsive decisions that would destroy you both please you deserv
he's not religious, but now i wonder if it may be out of obligation too ?we met through his father, which so happens to be my mentor. i'll have to see when it would be a good time to sit down and have this talk because i really like him and hope that i'm not making him uncomfortable.