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I guess they think that ectopic pregnancies aren't 100% fatal. A woman might lose her ability to have kids, but that's God's will in their mind.
Maybe, and I know this sounds crazy, he could decide not to give a fuck who she slept with in high school, or decide not to give any credence to clearly unreliable narrators.
According to her, she just doesn't want me to like anything that she doesn't or is not familiar with.
I would not continue a relationship with someone who felt that way
The fact that she thinks it's weird for you to meet him is the red flag. If she is being totally honest about her intentions with this guy, then she should happily introduce you both.
OP you NEED to be careful. She's cheated on you for five years, you should have lost trust in her and you need to understand this applies to ALL areas. You can't trust her financially. You don't know how she is going to react. You don't know if she is going to resent you finding out and try to screw you over in the divorce. You don't know if she is going to emotionally blackmail you. You don't know if she is going to fleece you and run to the affair partner. You don't even know if she's going to claim you are abusive (justifying her behaviour).
The best advice for relationships is do us vs. the problem. But when one person chooses to check out of that, you need to acknowledge that until further notice, you are on your own and need to protect yourself.
The lawyer is so they can advise you on how to protect yourself from potential damage she can do. That doesn't mean she will, but the worst that can happen if you take these measures is she gets mad that you rightfully don't trust her.
Get a lawyer, make some plans in case things go wrong. Don't leave her in the house with important shit after you've told her. Don't blast her on social media, but if things go poorly you can remind her that if she brings it to socials or tries to make untrue claims, you will too.
You don't make it clear if you want divorce, but her reaction could require a divorce if she gets mad or hysterical.
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