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It's good to see that people have started to come to their senses.
Ha! That's a good one. No it's random luck. If the first few people to see your comment agree, and you get a few upvotes, it generates momentum and people just upvote without thinking, going along with the group. They assume you're right because the group agrees.
Likewise with downvotes. If one person with 5-10 sock puppet accounts decides they don't like your take, no matter how realistic or reasonable, you may as well delete.
u/Separate_Ocelot9418, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.
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I agree that admiring someone else’s boobs or butt or peen is on a different level than saying “oh she’s very hot!” with no comparison or further details.
Have a meeting, first with the your fiancé and then with her, her parents, and the BIL and tepl them that if the brother-in-law shows up in anything other than black tie, the wedding will not happen. They can all stay away if they think such childish behavior is appropriate. Or you can hire security with a mandate to stop anyone who isn’t properly dressed and make sure that they know that no one is an exception, especially your in laws try if they to get the BIL in the wedding in wearing a clown costume.
You are setting the tone for what you will and won’t allow for the next 50 years possibly. Do not let them walk all over you and do not allow this clown(pun intended) to ruin your wedding.
I’d bring it up in person. Over text gives them time to create a story or back track. You’ll know what’s really up with an in person discussion. Good luck!
You’re definitely right about control issues leading to abusive tendencies. That is why I figured it’s best to leave the situation completely. I messaged him about parting ways.