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Languages: en
Birth Date: 1996-06-23
Body Type: bodyTypeAverage
Ethnicity: ethnicityWhite
Hair color: hairColorBlack
Eyes color: eyeColorGrey
Subculture: subcultureRomantic
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Your rule #3 in your post completely contradicts the second part of this comment.
Sounds like they’re gonna anyway…
Speaking as a professional boudoir model, OF model (not porn, and no full nudity or topless), and someone in a committed, long term relationship with the man I sincerely hope to marry…
What happened is not okay OP. HOWEVER (and this is very important), do NOT make your wife feel bas or ashamed for doing this. Please. I can guarantee, she did this because she thought it would make you happy and I can also guarantee that this was a slippery slope she fell down.
It is extremely common for photographers to pressure models into doing more than they’re comfortable. Especially new photographers that don’t really have a reputation to risk. You show up for a fully covered lingerie shoot, and then welllll… this sheer piece isn’t that sheer, you won’t be able to see through it in the pics. And this crotchless piece won’t even show, I’ll make sure! And the pasties would ruin this look, I bet you won’t be able to see your nipples anyways… and if we do full topless I’ll make sure to hide everything with angles, and if you can see anything I’ll just delete it… I promise…
This is like… the #1 scummy technique people use. You’re there, typically alone, isolated (in a studio, house, or hotel room), generally physically weaker than the photographer, and you already have 90% of your clothes off. You’re in an extremely vulnerable position, it’s hard to say no. And they keep pushing until you give in. It’s one of the worst feelings in the world.
If she just “went along with it,” I’m 99% certain that it was something like that. “Oh come on [wife], just think of how much OP will love it! It’s your anniversary, and it’s not like he hasn’t seen any of that before. Plus, I’m his friend and a professional! You can trust me, right?”
Your friend took advantage of your wife, and I’m sure she already feels somewhat uncomfortable with this whole situation. Please try to be kind but firm, and let her know that while you appreciate the gesture, and she looks gorgeous in the pics, you’d rather keep that between you two. You don’t need a physical picture because you’re always thinking of her. That kind of stuff.
Let her also know that if she does want to do more shoots like this (and be clear and establish YOUR boundaries, so you’re comfortable with it. My bf doesn’t care if I’m running around in a bikini with no signal (beach) for a whole day with my favorite photographer, but he doesn’t want me posing with other guys, so I don’t), you’d rather have her be fully clothed/in lingerie/not naked/whatever and help her find a reputable photographer (NOT YOUR FRIEND). It can be really empowering to see yourself that way, and that’s one reason I do what I do.
Best of luck to both of you