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How would communicating to his wife ruined the gift?
“Hey babe, I’m so happy for you, and don’t want to take away from OP’s generosity at all, but I can’t help but feel a little insecure about how his present compares to mine.”
If the wife is a decent person and they have a good marriage, she can then reassure her husband that she loves his gift and the cost isn’t important (like what OP said about her). It sounds like this is a one-off occurrence, and what’s done is done, so telling OP that he shouldn’t give expensive gifts is pointless.
After receiving reasonable reassurance from his wife, then yeah the husband would have to deal with his emotions on his own, and the wife should have no reason to feel bad unless he tries to make her responsible for his insecurities. It’s important to realize when you’re being irrational and work on improving your feelings.
When you have a problem with how your partner’s friend is treating your partner, your first step should be checking with your partner. If they disagree that the behavior is inappropriate, then problem is between you and your partner.
Going to the OP behind his wife’s back is patronizing as fuck.
Why are you tolerating it?
But she wasn't accusing him of infidelity? I would've been immediately freaked out about being robbed, ngl.
No it’s stealthing. And it’s illegal.
I think it’s they’re both potentially not committed but she doesn’t want him to have kids with someone else. She is keeping her options open so she is also considering having kids with someone else.
But, sure, they cannot ask for advice through the phone ??
No. She wouldn't have been.
You could have been Harry Fucking Styles with a PhD and she'd still want to be out there living an unattached life.
THIS. ISN'T. ABOUT. YOU.
Ps. I really have a ton of respect, honestly, for how she handled this whole thing, because holy heck if you telescoped your atttachement issues to her as much as you have here, she probably had a LOT of rightful concerns about how to enforce her boundaries.
id hazard a guess that its more than accommodation. probably food and other things. if its a rich person inviting 6 people? i dunno, sounds suss
Yikes. This is the biggest issue here. Things will probably continue to get worse until he gets dragged out of that sphere