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u/ZaddysLittleBrat, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.
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Are you two actually dating? As in, does the person know you like them and would like to get to know them more?
If that's the case and you two decide to go on a date, then asking them first how they feel about things like sex before surgery might already reveal an easy way out for you – if they are not comfortable in their body right now, they might not want to have sex before surgery anyway.
If they say they would be fine with sex, then it's time to be honest. Because really, you should never have sex in a way that makes you uncomfortable. You could tell them something like “I am so attracted to you as a person, but I am attracted to your actual gender, not the genitals you currently still have. Would you be fine with waiting until you had your surgery if we end up together?”
If they ask you if you would be willing to try and see how things go pre-surgery with sex, then also answer honestly – if you are okay with trying or not. Maybe there could be some sort of compromise as well (only using hands, for example, until post-surgery. Or using toys). It's not all about penetration or oral sex.
Basically, when it comes to sex, everything goes when both people are into it. The moment one person goes “Nope, this is not for me”, nothing goes. Sex needs both people to be comfortable. It's fine if someone does something for the partner even if they aren't super into it, as long as they feel neutral/okay about it. The moment there is repulsion or aversion, it's a no-go. And it doesn't matter what that is – penetration, oral, whatever.
Just be honest and open. You might right now not be compatible yet, but you can only find that out if you communicate. A good relationship needs honest communication, not you forcing yourself through something you don't want to do.
Exactly what I came here to say. Ignoring him will make him much more upset than anything you could tell him.
You’re scraping the bottom of the barrel with this relationship. Sounds to me like you took the first opportunity you had to jump into one with someone who was always around. I don’t know you at all but I know you can do better. This isn’t a good one. It’s time to venture forth into the great unknown and date someone who won’t attack you, who is respectful to you and your family, and is age appropriate.
He's a misogynist.
Find a guy who doesn't treat women with disdain.