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Honestly its better to have the honest conversation with her that you think you might have feelings for him before they get in deeper and she develops stronger feelings for him. You have to be ready that she might react badly but it would be way worse if you secretly pined after someone she got serious with.
I would personally tell her how you feel but say that if she genuinely sees something real with this guy you'll back off but if there's a chance he may not be the one for her would it be okay if you pursued him. Then if she says back off, for the sake of your friendship do so.
Therapy is what you need. How are strangers here really going to help you? You need to talk to someone. Long term Reddit isn’t fixing this for you.
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I mean, you’re in a relationship with a shitty person. Stop trying to justify his shittyness by calling him “ignorant” about social issues. He’s plenty old enough to understand these issues. He’s not ignorant. He’s a shitty person. And you trying to justify why he’s ignorant instead of just shitty doesn’t help him. But it certainly hurts you (and women everywhere).
You’re with a shitty person. You should expect a shitty person to do shitty things. If those shitty things are a problem for you, as they should be, then don’t stay in a relationship with a shitty person. Problem solved.
Why waste the energy on someone who is ignoring you for a week at a time? Save yourself for something – and someone – worthwhile.
I am SO SORRY. Being incarcerated (especially wrongfully) is absolute hell on earth. I spent a week in the most fucked up county jail in the country on account of a faulty drug test and I can’t imagine 12 years. Screwing someone over when they’re locked up is about as low as you can get. The woman you spent all that time dreaming about no longer exists, she never really did. You still have your whole life ahead of you to find someone who is honest and real and won’t betray you. Just put one foot in front of the other, do the next “right thing” and keep your head up. Love has a way of finding us when we least expect it. I wish you all the best.
I thought this too! if you’re a guy and you’ve had an ex who is really controlling and insecure it makes it feel impossible to have any contact with friends or co workers that are girls without being accused of cheating lol
Leave. There is no other option.
Im betting that it has way more to do with your “done a lot wrong” than her maybe finding another man. I see this a ton. Woman finally gets fed up, sick of being treated poorly, does something to improve herself and decides that she deserves to be done with her crappy relationship and then man goes “there MUST be someone else, it can’t possibly be because I treated her like dirt for 10 years”
I thought so, thanks.