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I think, by her logic, you have another biological grandma who might leave you money, and it's not fair that you get 5 chances to inherit from a grandparent and reduce the inheritance of your step-cousins, who might not have additional grandparents.
Money usually follows blood because it's a great equalizer. Everybody has 2 parents, 4 grandparents, 8 great-grandparents, etc. Everybody gets a fair shake at generational wealth based on number of grandparents. It's really the ultimate fairness.
The bottom line is you expected an extra roll of the dice when your grandmother died. How selfish.
Your ex-husband is a disgusting, lying cheater.
Whatever you thought you had in your ex or in your former marriage, it was all predicated on lies. All of it.
Why do I say this? Because he’s going to beg and plead for your forgiveness, be on his best behavior, try to gaslight you…ANYTHING to avoid consequences. You have to stand firm. You are young, your marriage was young. Get a divorce, mourn the loss, get some therapy for perspective, take some time to be alone and be good to yourself, and maybe after a few years, fall in love again. Or not.
I am sorry.
But, trust me, you don’t want to have this divorce after nearly a decade of marriage, a mortgage, kids, etc. . NOW IS A PERFECT TIME TO YEET THIS JERK. Consider it an early holiday gift to yourself. You deserve it.
I’m sorry you had to experience this, but believe me, MUCH BETTER DAYS ARE AHEAD as a divorcée.
Perhaps you’re moving a bit fast, if you’re already with two dudes two months in. Maybe a different vetting system is needed.
He was not a loss at all, try not to internalize their behavior.. but there are more of him out there and we need a way to weed them out
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I think it sounds terrible. Yes we go out on dates from time to time but not too much time alone anymore especially with the child
You can confront him but he a liar. He’ll lie & then switch the whole situation on you. Call you insecure, broke his trust the whole (cheater caught in a lie spew) he was never over his ex, plan your exit & be on your way out the relationship.
You can address the rest of the friend group, but don't be shocked when they tell you to take a hike. You fucked your best friend's girlfriend, why would anyone trust you?
He didn’t post the photo. A girl who’s friends with his ex girl posted the photo. The only photo he posted was him on the beach with his boys. He just assumed i would’ve never seen it. I also don’t know why u think i have false confidence. I didn’t want to date him, he was a comfort person for me while i still continuously hung out and hooked up with my ex (until recently). I’m fr just seeking validation about if he’s sad or not about our situation, especially because h doesn’t know what I’ve done and I’m the victim. Wrong of me i know, but it’s my truth
So it seems there are underlying issues. But what I’ve learned in my history of relationships with men is that you need to explicitly ask for what you want and need. If they don’t deliver, they you can reevaluate. But it’s difficult to judge him on something you haven’t communicated. For example, I tell my boyfriend exactly what I want when I’m sad. Men have no understanding of what a period feels like or what you will particularly need.
But if you genuinely feel like he’d rather be playing video games than support you in a tough time, then I would rethink how great of a boyfriend he is.
Little more information on the coworker. How old is she? Is she your assistant or your colleague? Does your wife know?
If you two are planning to have kids, tell her there will be (and make sure to include) protection for her in the prenup after having kids. Many women lose out on time spent working, career advancement opportunities, earnings potential, and ability to do networking outside of standard working hours that drastically affect their lifetime earnings after having kids. Any prenup should acknowledge this, especially if you're maintaining separate finances, and should be able to protect her financially from the losses she'll experience by having kids and will make sure she can afford to continue to raise them adequately post divorce (if she gets custody of any percentage).