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What the fuck.
This is abuse of a disabled person by the way, you are not in the wrong here in any regard.
Not ridiculous but wrong of your BF to leave you hanging for a homie on house arrest. IMO he should be taking care of you, because thats what we do for the ones we love.
Not strange. They arbitrarily chose 5 dates and someone else uses three dates and you choose 11 dates.
Although your case is more interesting because at least the other dates are not related to being in a relationship.
But for yours, you're basically saying on Saturday, you don't want to have sex if you're just dating, but if on Sunday you have become boyfriend and girlfriend, you'll have sex.
In other words for you it's not so much about checking compatibility or emotional connection , it's just about having that label.
You did also add the part about “serious relationship” but then you have the part about 11 dates as well.
So maybe you do actually mean you want an emotional connection with the other person, AND being boyfriend girlfriend, which means you better tell your partner that it could be more than 11 dates, if that's the case.
Tell them and then they'll make a decision if they want to wait or not.
Sounds like you haven't grown at all. You are still incredibly selfish.
Have you talked to son about your concerns? Like, asking questions or making statements such as “I noticed [x] and we're concerned about it because we noticed [y]”.
What about asking what your son might need? While you don't have to keep giving him 100, where could that funding go for something like, idk, therapy.