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Brandy, ‘s World, 41 y.o.
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It won't get better, don't marry this person.
I also don’t do ear plugs. But loud white noise near the source of sound helps me with my noisy downstairs brights.
I think he's right to worry. You wouldn't get me to set foot in Mexico for anything. Just because this has been going on for years, doesn't mean it can't change in the direction of violence very rapidly.
If you value the relationship, compromise. Find a similar charity in the US to volunteer at. Maybe this trip to TJ will be your last.
His concern is born of love. He doesn't want to lose the person he loves. Try to remember that.
Happy cake day!
Talk to your landlord and break the lease. It ain't worth the drama. Then she's the landlord's problem.
> But they’re still really friendly. Text every day… share photos, jokes, etc
OP, if you are feeling uncomfortable with this then that’s perfectly okay. This is not exactly appropriate behavior of a person in a committed relationship to be going behind their partner’s back to meet up with their ex.
There’s physical cheating and then there’s emotional cheating. She may claim to not have any sexual attraction towards him, but it does look like they are still very much emotionally close to each other. For all you know she may just be saying that she has no sexual attraction, without that indeed being the case. You know her better than any of us internet stranger but I’m a little skeptical about her claim.
What I find it very concerning is that she’s doing all these things behind your back. Any of these things by themselves can erode trust in a relationship. Taken together as a whole, it paints a concerning picture. I understand that it’s an infraction that you went through her phone, but I feel that what she is doing is significantly more of an infraction. At least you are not talking to your ex and meeting with your ex behind her back. What she does goes beyond the bond a person could have with their pet. This is about the bond she has with her Ex.
I dislike suggesting the nuclear option in situation. But in this case, it looks like your boundaries are getting trampled. She doesn’t seem to care much that her behavior is making your uncomfortable. She’s meeting her ex behind your back. So, at this point, you really need to take a step back and look at this relationship with a critical eye. Why are you still in this relationship, really?
Tell him you're struggling and need that 1k back, if you struggle with justifying it say you owe your parents money. You owe them 1500, make it a larger sum not a smaller amount and start hounding him about it.
Tell him you're going to tell your parents to ask him for money.
Get your parents in on it.
Then dump him, he's done this before. He's going to continue.
Pick up an old or new hobby, go to places or events meant for making new friends, and most importantly let yourself feel whatever you need to fell don’t bury it.
My father won custody of me when I was 11. If the dads make more money, they can afford better lawyers.
I'm 5'0″. My ex is 6'4″
Our sex was great. It was about the only thing that was, hence him being my ex. But there were no positions we couldn't make happen.
Everything has worked for someone, at some point in time, during the long history of human relationships.
Will it work for you? You broke up due to distance, if that’s not materially changed then why would this not repeat?