It's a huge red flag not only that he waited until you two were about to get intimate to drop that on you but also that he got mad that you turned him down after that. I don't know that I would continue after that, either. At the very least, have a very serious discussion with him.
Yeah because it is weird and by the sounds of it, potentially financially abusive. You’ve been together for over a year and he doesn’t contribute financially? Because he has no money? At 41? And you are the only person in your family and social circles that doesn’t see why any of that is problematic. Those are all red flags.
Think of it this way.
When he was 25, you were 9 or 10. If he’s 41 now then he was born in 1981(ish). You weren’t born til 1997(ish). He had nearly finished high school or already had (depending on where you live) when you were coming out of your mum and breathing air into your lungs for the first time. You are still becoming your own adult version of yourself. Settling into a career, deciding what kind of life you want, whether you want kids or to travel or start a business etc. He’s already done all that, hit the midlife crisis stage and is now dating a woman in her 20s. That’s sadly quite “normal” for men, but it doesn’t make it not weird.
I agree with her. I think that alienating your children from one parent out of spite is more morally corrupt than cheating. I consider friends and family members that would just ditch me on a whimp as unreliable and not true friends/family.
True friends and family help each other through difficult times even if that friend or family member is to blame for it.
That’s why I said no comment on what he should do. He should just be honest he wants to be selfish and his word/vows don’t mean anything. At the end of the day his life and choices, I just wonder if the roles were reversed and he found out his wife was on Reddit debating how to abandon her…how would he feel? He knew the risk before he married her now it has jammed him he’s running. I pray ppl get used to having solid people in their corner so this kind of selfishness doesn’t become the norm.
Yeah, go to a therapist and get support for your insecurities. You’re immediately labeling yourself as being a victim. I was bullied a lot too…the thing that I understand and something you need to learn for yourself is that nonsense is on them. They bullied you because it made them feel better. That’s sad behavior on their end. It troubles you not because of anything she did but because you don’t know how to keep your own anxiety in check. You’re seriously considering ghosting someone who DOESN’T deserve it because you don’t feel like you can measure up to those guys? Well yeah, if you do the toxic thing of leaving her on read and basically going NC.
If you don’t want to be with her then break up with her. Show her the respect of finding out from you that things are done. You were bullied so now you’re going to self sabotage and then maybe possibly cause her to feel insecure with herself? How do you think she’s going to feel if the people she’s been dating for five months stops speaking to her? Have you thought about her perspective and how that may hurt her? Or you focused on how much her body count makes you feel emasculated?
You need therapy. This level of insecurity is profoundly unhealthy and it's poisoning your relationship. Your boyfriend has no clue what's going on with you, and he hasn't done anything wrong. Your issues are being unfairly inflicted on him and if you want to stop that then you need to take the step to seek some help for them.
Look, gurl…You’re a fit, nude working, big earner with discipline and goals. You can almost literally pick any guy out there and they’d be THRILLED to be your other half. Don’t waste it trying to please some smug, smarmy prude who’s clearly way too into himself. Hell, I’ll take his place! You go kick ass, work out, read, I’ll be your house caretaker, cook you dinner, and you can come home and geek out about your literature while we eat dinner and unwind with some TV and cuddling! Doesn’t that sound more fun than pretending to read Plato or Calculus textbooks to please some redundant metric?! THAT’S something you deserve more than trying to impress someone else with something that’s not you, hahaha!
Whose name was the car in? If the car was in both your names and you sold it for $400, you owe her the $200. If the car was in your name only you legally don’t owe her anything. It doesn’t matter what you “could have” sold the car for.
He doesn’t sound well. Kinda bipolar-ish.
It sounds like he looks at the kids as your responsibility. Is that correct? Cuz that would be wrong
This might not be salvagable.
It's a huge red flag not only that he waited until you two were about to get intimate to drop that on you but also that he got mad that you turned him down after that. I don't know that I would continue after that, either. At the very least, have a very serious discussion with him.
More info would be swell. But I'm only 50% sold on your hypothesis.
She sounds fed up, or alternately; a big jerk.
Some people get sick of 'lazy' husbands. Other people are so pampered that they turn into wailing infants when they don't get their way.
The face value of this post is that the wife is being a douche. Maybe that's wrong as well.
Yeah because it is weird and by the sounds of it, potentially financially abusive. You’ve been together for over a year and he doesn’t contribute financially? Because he has no money? At 41? And you are the only person in your family and social circles that doesn’t see why any of that is problematic. Those are all red flags.
Think of it this way.
When he was 25, you were 9 or 10. If he’s 41 now then he was born in 1981(ish). You weren’t born til 1997(ish). He had nearly finished high school or already had (depending on where you live) when you were coming out of your mum and breathing air into your lungs for the first time. You are still becoming your own adult version of yourself. Settling into a career, deciding what kind of life you want, whether you want kids or to travel or start a business etc. He’s already done all that, hit the midlife crisis stage and is now dating a woman in her 20s. That’s sadly quite “normal” for men, but it doesn’t make it not weird.
I agree with her. I think that alienating your children from one parent out of spite is more morally corrupt than cheating. I consider friends and family members that would just ditch me on a whimp as unreliable and not true friends/family.
True friends and family help each other through difficult times even if that friend or family member is to blame for it.
Smirk
Divorce her. she’s a complete piece of trash human
That’s why I said no comment on what he should do. He should just be honest he wants to be selfish and his word/vows don’t mean anything. At the end of the day his life and choices, I just wonder if the roles were reversed and he found out his wife was on Reddit debating how to abandon her…how would he feel? He knew the risk before he married her now it has jammed him he’s running. I pray ppl get used to having solid people in their corner so this kind of selfishness doesn’t become the norm.
Yeah, go to a therapist and get support for your insecurities. You’re immediately labeling yourself as being a victim. I was bullied a lot too…the thing that I understand and something you need to learn for yourself is that nonsense is on them. They bullied you because it made them feel better. That’s sad behavior on their end. It troubles you not because of anything she did but because you don’t know how to keep your own anxiety in check. You’re seriously considering ghosting someone who DOESN’T deserve it because you don’t feel like you can measure up to those guys? Well yeah, if you do the toxic thing of leaving her on read and basically going NC.
If you don’t want to be with her then break up with her. Show her the respect of finding out from you that things are done. You were bullied so now you’re going to self sabotage and then maybe possibly cause her to feel insecure with herself? How do you think she’s going to feel if the people she’s been dating for five months stops speaking to her? Have you thought about her perspective and how that may hurt her? Or you focused on how much her body count makes you feel emasculated?
You need therapy. This level of insecurity is profoundly unhealthy and it's poisoning your relationship. Your boyfriend has no clue what's going on with you, and he hasn't done anything wrong. Your issues are being unfairly inflicted on him and if you want to stop that then you need to take the step to seek some help for them.
Look, gurl…You’re a fit, nude working, big earner with discipline and goals. You can almost literally pick any guy out there and they’d be THRILLED to be your other half. Don’t waste it trying to please some smug, smarmy prude who’s clearly way too into himself. Hell, I’ll take his place! You go kick ass, work out, read, I’ll be your house caretaker, cook you dinner, and you can come home and geek out about your literature while we eat dinner and unwind with some TV and cuddling! Doesn’t that sound more fun than pretending to read Plato or Calculus textbooks to please some redundant metric?! THAT’S something you deserve more than trying to impress someone else with something that’s not you, hahaha!
Whose name was the car in? If the car was in both your names and you sold it for $400, you owe her the $200. If the car was in your name only you legally don’t owe her anything. It doesn’t matter what you “could have” sold the car for.