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She said I didn’t really know her and if I did, I would never want her
She then went through a laundry list of all of her flaws and said that she would eventually hurt me
There is your warning. She obviously has a bad past and might be sweet and beautiful up front, but eventually she goes toxic on all of her relationships. When she does, she will say “I warned you, you didn't listen”.
No matter how awesome she seems right now, she has already admitted she is going to ruin it eventually. She is already pushing you out the door, just open that door and find someone who actually wants to be with you.
Missing dosages? Getting worse, someone said you can report it. And your worried she might attack you? Why is this person a friend?
It sounds like your partner hasn't learned the proper tools to handle her triggers in a healthy way. Unfortunately, therapy isn't magic; she has to intentionally apply whatever lessons she's gained in therapy into daily practice; it won't happen passively. It doesn't sound like she's doing that. Until that happens, nothing will change, in fact, it'll only get worse. You can't heal for them, they have to be willing AND actually to put in the work. Save yourself the lifetime of headaches; it's not worth it tbh.
He is almost 20 years older than you. He is looking for someone pliant and controllable, who won't call him on his bullshit. Please run.
A common problem with Reddit. A lot of people go from 0-60 in .02 seconds. Sometimes there's really just a communication problem, which we all have from time to time, but they really do enjoy some good drama.
The concern here would be that he tried to baby trap you. If he participated in going and getting plan B for you to take and didn't put up a fight, I'm sure that wasn't his intention and the timing was just very bad.
Put all your stuff you can fit in YOUR car and drive it as far away from this man as you can. His behaviour is violent, unhinged and unpredictable and you are in danger.