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Brooke, 99 y.o.
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As someone who recently learned that my dad, who is my best friend, is dying. Although it’s a little different because you’re so young, I have been grieving more than I’ve ever grieved before.
I feel like doing what your sister is doing sometimes – she’s trying to ignore and push away what’s happening and trying to make it not real. Denial is one of the stages of grief, and she may need a little time to get to the next stage. Maybe just emphasize to her (through her partner or whatever way of communication) that you love her and want to spend time with her. That you guys can talk about your feelings if she wants, or you can just be as normal as possible. Maybe suggest doing something you both have enjoyed doing in the past.
For your partner, they’re going to focus solely on getting to you. Just focus on communication with them, make them feel like they’re there too. Let them support you from afar and let them figure out if they’re going to come see you.
But overall, to be honest, it’s not your job to comfort them. I don’t know how long ago you told them, but time does help a little bit. And hopefully they’ll both realize soon that you’re still here, and you all need to treat every day like it might be your last.
I am so sorry you are dealing with all this. I’ve had an illness (cancer) and faced my own mortality before at 23, and I truly found it much easier to come to terms with the possibility of dying. It was seeing my family be sad and worry about me was much harder for me to deal with.
So I'm married, but I do wonder if I'm bi. I have brought it up to my husband, which he was surprised by but it was on my mind. I am attracted to women, but I don't know if I'd enjoy having sex with them. And I'm not confident enough to identify as being bi, especially since I've never had any romantic interactions with another woman at any point in my life.
But here's the thing: it doesn't really matter. I'm married, I'm happy, my husband and I are monogamous. I do wonder, but at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter. If I could confirm that I enjoy sex with women, what would that change in my life? Either it changes absolutely nothing, or I end up divorcing my husband to be with women. That second option sounds pretty damn nuclear, and I can genuinely say that I have no desire to divorce my husband. I am definitely sexually attracted to men, and I love my husband and I love our love together. Why does it matter if I could confirm being bi? Nothing would change as a result of it, so there's no reason for me to seek a hall pass.
Maybe your gf just hasn't thought this through, and is more caught up in the label or the curiosity. Maybe she doesn't but it as cheating if it's the same gender. Maybe she just isn't that into you so it's not a big risk to ask this of you, but she would still rather lie to keep you around.
Do any of those sound like good reasons to give her your blessing to cheat on you? They don't sound good to me.
She’s trash
He says that he thinks about things for us to do, but he never puts them into action or plans them out. Or I’ll give him an idea or tell him to do something like going to an art exhibit/show and he says that he tries really hard to make sure that we go, but I’m not sure what is difficult about that.
I asked him why it’s nude for him and he says it’s because growing up he didn’t have a good representation of romance? But I feel like that’s an excuse when he’s been in multiple other relationships before me and the one right before ours made him “not want to be romantic anymore”.
At the beginning of our relationship I did romantic things like write him love letters and put them on his desk and would make him breakfast/dinner so he could eat before/after work and that was never reciprocated.
I told him multiple times on different occasions what I wanted and he always says he’s trying but it never comes through.
You’re still not recognizing that he’s the problem. He allows the behavior from whoever the girls are. He is the only one that is responsible for or capable of stopping it.
If my partner asked to see my phone I'd have no problem with it because I have nothing to hide. On the other hand, everyone's relationship dynamics, expectations, and boundaries are very different. Have you ever asked to see her phone before? Have either of you ever talked about “phone privacy” and the boundaries around that? What was the outcome? These are questions I'd ask myself in your situation. Best of luck.