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Breakup with her so she can surround herself with better people, as she deserves.
Why let him this ruin your day? He’s the one making a fool of himself, it’s not a reflection on anyone else but him.
Also disturbing he failed to mention for years that by having kids he meant adoption only. One would think it's a natural thing to point that “adoption only” thing out if one feels so strongly about the topic that they don’t want to even consider having biological children. The fact he did no such thing for 7 years is concerning. So it's not just about the race, it's the whole context that is creepy af.
I dont know why you expect him to trust you when you were talking to your ex in the beginning and now at the first sign of trouble you're running straight back to your ex and venting all the private emotional conflicts you've been having with your BOYFRIEND to your EX.
Thats a huge violation of trust and you don't sound mature enough to be in a committed relationship if you keep your toxic ex around. Especially venting to him about your issues. That just gives him the idea that he has an in to get back with you if shit doesn't work out with your boyfriend. You should've blocked your ex 9 months ago.
Stay single for a while.
I like this idea. It'll get the family off OPs back and it reinforces to her that things are done.
It sounds like you're going through a difficult time right now, but it's important to remember that your feelings are valid and understandable. It's natural to feel rejected and hurt when someone you've been intimate with doesn't want to continue the relationship or even maintain a friendship.
It's also important to acknowledge that you may have had some expectations or desires for the relationship that he wasn't able or willing to fulfill, and that's okay. You mentioned that you want a monogamous intimate relationship, and it's good that you've realized that and are able to acknowledge that he can't/won't provide that for you.
Moving forward, it may be helpful to focus on yourself and your own needs and desires. It's okay to take some time to heal and process your feelings before trying to form new relationships or pursue other options. It's also important to establish clear boundaries for yourself and communicate them to any potential partners or hookups in the future.
Regarding your current living situation, it may be helpful to find ways to create some space and distance between yourself and your roommate. This could involve spending more time outside of the apartment, finding activities or hobbies to engage in, or even considering a new living arrangement if it's feasible.
It's understandable that you may want validation or respect from your former hookup, but it's important to remember that ultimately, your self-worth should come from within. You are worthy of love and respect regardless of anyone else's opinions or actions. It may be helpful to focus on building up your own self-esteem and confidence through activities, therapy, or other self-care practices.
Overall, it's important to be kind and patient with yourself as you navigate this situation. It may be challenging at times, but with time and effort, you will be able to move forward and find happiness and fulfillment in your life.
Thank you! Yes it is incredibly difficult and the fact that it happened still hurts me all the time. I have had sleepless nights wondering if I didn't love her enough. I have always been madly in love with her, so this was like an arrow to the heart. Idk if it's biblical love or not but I've def never loved anyone like this before. It took everything in me to not leave and forgive her, and I just hope it was a worthwhile risk I took and she remains loyal.