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Sometimes I think guys lie because women are super judgmental on things he may like to do but what I can say is at least you can figure out if you want to be with him still early on.
WHAT? what did Vic do? i'm workin go nhis new movie
For your sake. That means he most likely doesnāt Have any STIs. I really canāt help you a whole lot other than what I already posted.
They are all toxic people that donāt have your best interest. Your husband is by far the worst and you should immediately start planning a separation because this man clearly has no love or care for you or anyone but himself.
Will was never your friend, no true friend would befriend let alone marry the person the wrecked their ābffsā marriage. Even under the impression that you knewā¦ the audacity for Will to bring her into your life and for her to continue interacting with you and your husband is absolutely foul.
You need to move on and get away from these people. The only therapy you need is individual to overcome this, not couples. You even said in the comments that you already suspected him of cheating again so clearly your marriage was already broken anyways. Seriously listen to what everyone is saying. Donāt let these people ridicule and bring you down more.
The Rules:
You cannot win any argument (because he despises himself when he loses).
Losing (for him) is when you win. You want support, he gives you support (means you won). I know itās weird but it is likely how he thinks.
So, drop the subject & let him win, you quietly agree you donāt need him to put you in his will. Make it a non-issue. (But save your money – maybe buy him a nice gift occasionally – so he feels loved.)
You can love someone like this. (Have empathy as somehow he was hurt or shamed into this behavior.)
He is likely a generous person & possibly may change his mind regarding a will, etc. But you cannot count on it. It must be his idea.
Remember, as tentative as you are to start dating again, imagine how he would hate to do that at his age. (Never point that out – but know that keeping you satisfied (and in his life) is likely very important to him. So just try to be a good partnerā¦.until you want to leave.)
The thing isā¦if you stop bringing up topics that he detests discussing, you become an ideal partner (and you will be difficult to replace). You will be a uniquely perfect partner – and likely he will be smart enough to realize how valuable you are. It is not that difficult to live! (and love him) like this.
Iām not saying you stay or go. That is up to you. But if you stay (for a year, or indefinitely) you must give harmony. Keep your mouth shut, drop the tug-of-war rope.
Do what you need to do ā to take care of yourself ā without asking or discussing.
I loved Harry Potter growing up. The only character both my parents could tell you is Harry Potter because heās the title character. I love musicals. My parents love musicals too but not to the same degree I do and donāt know half the stuff I do. That doesnāt make them a narcissist. Thatās normal
Leave, yes, absolutely. Do so because he's twice your age and because he doesn't care about your boundaries. He never would have married you if he thought you would express needs of your own. Which is a problem.
Boost
Donāt even do the ābreakā thing, just end it. If he changes dramatically in the future you can get back with him, but the idea of a ābreakā doesnāt make any sense
Since you're not keeping it I don't see a reason to tell him
I think he grew a kink out of your plays and it makes him feel better or it just pushes his buttons. Maybe talk about it openly, see whats the case with him doing it. Dont make assumptions before actually speaking to the guy. See whats there to be done and what makes him do it.
You need to go to the police and get ahead of this. Don't let the mentally unstable, possibly drugged, liar get the chance to control the narrative. This is something that could completely ruin your husband's life and you need to treat this with the seriousness it deserves. When someone threatens to kill your family you don't treat it as a threat, you treat it like a promise.
She's asking you to be her backburner. Have some self respect and walk away.
You say yes to this once and I promise she will be doing it again in a year or less.
You and I are different breeds. I would straight up not play the loving and supportive girlfriend role if he wasn't reciprocating. Maybe to that and see if he changes. If not, you're already set up for the exit.