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You didn't send a text message? That's the end of the world? That's the reason for defcon 5?
Sorry but no… you didn't do anything deserving the end of the world.
You not sending a text message isn't ruining a relationship and if that's his claim then this relationship wasn't perfect – either there are more problems not mentioned here or he has unrealistic expectations. If “all his trust” is lost because of this? Then he has baggage or trust issues because something doesn't pass the smell test here.
WRT to 0 alcohol? If you've had trouble before and trouble now? Have you looked into stuff like AA. By all means, if you need to stop drinking. but don't blame him not trusting you on this especially after opening up to him.
You called him a disgusting man child over some pee? Really?
Grow up.
You’re right I think I’m just so used to it and don’t want to fight with her
Exactly I’m a direct person , so I just want honesty
Right? There’s nothing wrong with her THINKING this as the question gets asked, but what on earth made her think SAYING it was a good idea? No amount of alcohol should make someone think “well I don’t want to set my relationship on fire with insecurity and resentment but the game says I have to so here goes!”
Unfortunately that's another reason against it. If after 4 years you haven't developed a way to work together on needs and differences, or at least show each other loving acceptance and trust, it may be best to call it a day.
Yikes. Red pill ruins more things. Sorry to hear that. Unfortunately, there’s not much you’ll be able to do. Your bf is going to think this way until he hears something else that he wants to believe more
Red pill says women who go to clubs do so for strictly male attention. That’s probably the mindset he has. I believe the only two choices you’ll have are stay with him and his rules or ditch the dude. As a 20 year old female, I think you should pick the latter
So he works manual labor for 13 hours a day while you work less than half that and you want him to do as mamy chores as you? You have a cushy job, I'm assuming because you were able to go to school. At this point it's not about who makes more, it's about who's working harder. He's obviously more physically exhausted, and you're already home. I haven't even touched on the whole “just doubled my salary but want my bf to pay me more”, it comes across as very greedy and self serving. You come across as very privileged and I feel sorry for your boyfriend. Women making more than their boyfriends is only an issue when they act like you.
You shouldn't go.
I think if you go, it will make her worse. Right now she needs friends and family, not the ex that she cheated on. The less she sees you and talks to you, the easier it will be to get over you and get back to her normal self.
I think if you go, the guilt trip that will be put upon you by her, the family, and her friends will make you resent her even more. You might even get pressured too much and your emotions come out at once and you say something that sends her over the edge.
“He isn’t a bad husband apart from this issue.”
YES HE IS!
Abusive relationships are not good or healthy. He has conditioned you to believe that he’s a good man. He’s not. He’s manipulating and gaslighting you so that he doesn’t have to take responsibility for his actions. You’re miserable as a result.
Ask yourself. If this was about a friend of yours, would you tell them to put up with it? If so, why? And if not, why do you not leave your situation?
Don’t fall for his BS anymore. Get out of there.
Look man I’m gonna break it to you. She probably already cheated. Beat her to the punch. It sucks. I got cheated on excessively by an ex. Save your dignity and stand tall man, there’s better girls out there.