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Then wait and introduce them later, don’t involve them too much before they can understand. He can’t just unilaterally decide to change the whole family structure. It could lead to so much resentment down the line. This isn’t some distant cousin visiting once in a while. It’s an older half-sibling he wants to adopt and treat the same as his other kids. Maybe others would be cool with it, but I would hate it.
It doesn’t look like he even considered just paying child support and getting to know the son on his own away from the family for the time being. He just went straight to full integration.
I think using this to enhance our sex life is a great option, because I feel trying to bury the feeling would only create an issue down the road.. but he is persistent on the fact that it’s not something he wants to continue doing at any point in his life, and that this personality he takes on while having these conversations with other women is so detached from himself.
I even joked that the reason he possibly doesn’t speak to me the way he speaks to these other women is because he actually views me as a human being, which he chuckled and agreed to. It’s a very peculiar situation for sure.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
We’ve been married for 5 years and there have been times I felt suffocated by him that I wanted to run away. I told him how I felt and he proceeded to ignore me for a month without talking or even acknowledging me. He keeps bursting out in anger every time and keeps saying I’m disobedient and I should “try harder” or become a proper wife.
When we got married I was in Uni, he did the same thing back then as well that he would say don’t go today stay home, and eventually I couldn’t catch up on studies because of this. When I failed my degree he said I was just not cut out for it and said it’s stupid of me to say that he had anything to do with it. I know it’s not his fault but it didn’t help that he didn’t let me go to classes when he felt like I should be with him.
Last night we had this huge fight over me not listening to him and having a “whorish” attitude although I barely go out and I went to work not some club. I just don’t understand, where the man is who used to love me. He says this is love but if this is love I don’t really think I want it.
During these 5 years I lost contact to all my friends and family because he either didn’t like them or he just didn’t think we should visit them as often. I have no one else other than him now. So I don’t understand how he can still say I’m not a good wife? I do everything he tells me to and the household chores he doesn’t seem to consider a big deal and yet I am a bad wife because I went to work one day without his permission.
How can I make him understand that he is hurting me with this kind of behavior?
This is the situation where you just ghost this person and move on with your life.
You don’t want to be friends with this person, this is insane, manipulative behavior.
You’re crazy to offer to pay for lessons. This is in no way your fault. You need to point that out and make it clear that your friendship is on the line if she doesn’t stop with the whining. I’ve known so many people to injure themselves/sustain fractures from skating (Canadian), gliding across ice is obviously not without risk and she knows this. She sounds like the type of person who is a perpetual victim.
Thank you for this feedback. It’s not the kind I wanted to receive, however I needed to hear this. Of course I would want to know if the roles were reversed. I hope I find the courage to do the right thing. As it is, I get extreme anxiety at the mere thought of messaging, so I know I won’t be doing so in the immediate future. However, perhaps in a few weeks once I have processed this information and my personal feelings have been dealt with, l will be strong enough.
He started seeing an addiction specialist/therapist to address both porn and coke addictions. It’s confusing because he’s done so much to indicate he’s not attracted (he also messaged his friends telling him his new female coworker is nude) yet he’s still with me and initiating marriage talk. I’m so confused.