After thirteen years, breaking up with her is probably the only thing that's going to shatter her complacency and spur her to make changes. Anything short of that, she's going to keep relying on you to enable her. Breaking up isn't hurting her, it's helping her. And if you love her I'm sure you want to help her.
if there's anything I've learned from reddit, it's that this is a thing and it's called a posh wank on the non-USA side of the pond
After thirteen years, breaking up with her is probably the only thing that's going to shatter her complacency and spur her to make changes. Anything short of that, she's going to keep relying on you to enable her. Breaking up isn't hurting her, it's helping her. And if you love her I'm sure you want to help her.