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I would sit tight until your course is complete and address it then.
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Are you fucking seriously asking if this is worth breaking up over?? How could you think this is normal and healthy! No. Just no. What would you say to your best friend if they told you this? Would you tell them to stay? He's right. He's a psycho
If she say something like this, you're completely allowed to let her know it ain't about her. It's not about being or not in a car with you, it's being with ANYONE during a time I need to relax. I prefer taking the bus. Period. Not “I'd rather take the bus than be in a car with you” just “I'd rather take the bus”. It.is.not.about.her.
It's very natural to be interested in some things and not others. Some people love penetrative sex, but hate oral sex. Those involve most of the same parts!
You are what you are and that is what you are. Don't fit yourself into a box trying to figure it all out. You're blessed to know what you like – many many people don't get that in their lifetimes.
According to OP's version , he is not at fault for that . He had an one night stand with a person that told him that she was 22 years old . A person he met at a party where people had their ids checked , therefore it's reasonable to assume that she was in fact above 21 . It's often quite hot to manage to figure out age just from looks , especially someone wearing makeup , at a semi dark place and after drinks…
Keep things ended. You were lucky enough to catch on early
You sound entitled, and an awful person to be around, that's probably why they don't want to hang out with you.
My only question is WHY ARE YOU WITH THIS MAN?!?!? He doesn’t even like you let alone love you. No relationship should be this difficult and I didn’t even finish reading this. There is NO WAY IN HELL I would still be marrying this man after everything he’s done. You’re still young enough to find a decent man who will want the same thing you do and be as ambitious and goal oriented as you are. Dump this loser and get your life back!!
I understand the health part but how is it “morally dubious”?
Pop a reminder on here, to read your post in 10 years time. See if you still have the same attitude. I very much doubt you will. You need to stand up & advocate for yourself coz no one else will. If you are not in the mood to blow him, tell him no. If he's pushy instead of respecting your answer, then you know he's simply using you for his own gratification & doesn't give a shit about your feelings, your needs & boundaries. I learned this the naked way. Men like this feel entitled to your body when they demand it. It's manipulative & gross & will make you feel objectified in the long run.
While there is a bit of nuance to your circumstance, considering it was an open relationship to begin with, I understand what you're saying. You agreed to be monogamous, now it feels like she's going against (or wants to go against) that agreement by asking about it, which hurts.
I can't speak for everyone, but I know there are plenty of people like me where, even the mention of an open relationship, swinging, threesomes, etc would be an instant deal-breaker.
Honestly he broke the trust in your relationship by asking his buddy. I would say a firm no and demand he attend therapy so he can begin to comprehend that the BOTH of you need to be in agreement and want the SAME thing regarding sex. How he went about it is not okay. If I were you I would probably leave and stay at a friends house. The manipulation he is pulling is egregious.
You need to leave him, take time to recover and find someone on the same page as you. Don't stay because of sunk cost fallacy. He clearly doesn't consider you when making any decisions. Current or future. He couldn't be more clear