It's not a boundary. It's imposing a restriction on their freedoms.
Those people who see it as cheating are stupid. Funny enough, cheating occurs for emotional reasons majority of the time. Cheating (having sex outside of a monogamous relationship) actually harms someone. Watching porn doesn't harm anyone.
Anything in excess is harmful, but watching porn and jerking off to it from time to time is healthy.
But yeah I agree. This is a pattern of behaviour, he's obviously aware its going to happen and he's not taking responsibility for controlling himself and managing his own blood sugar.
Taking it out on OP who was trying to give him a nice experience is not on. Judging by how OP is hesitant to assign blame it sounds like this sort of unfairness is a regular part of their dynamic.
Please take this with the compassion with which it is intended, but you need to let this “it’s complicated” situation go. This girl seems like she has her own issues and is keeping you on the back burner.
Don’t reach out to her anymore. Focus on your mental health. Put effort into your IRL friendships. If she messages you again, I’d advise a very casual response with no expectations.
Eh, 16 and 18 is whatever. Close enough in age, but it looks more like they were 15 and 18. Which is gross! Who goes out with a sophomore when you’re a senior?
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
Almost one year ago, i lost the man I considered the love of my life ( we were together since I was 19). He died in an accident and this was so unexpected. It was tragic and I went into depression. He was the man I wanted call my husband , and have a family with. There were so many things we wanted to experience together. I just couldn’t deal with it and the pain was very strong.
Thankfully, i had a few people who were there for me. I also went to therapy, and it really helped me. It still hurts a lot but I’m doing my best to get better.
The thing is that, I have this cousin who I see from time to time, but don’t really get along with. She only contact me when she needs me to help her. She used to have, still has a lot of issues and trouble . so, I used to feel a bit bad about her and try to help her a bit
Two days ago, she called me, because she wanted to know, if I could take care of her kids ( she’s a single mother of two) for a few hours. I told her that I couldn’t because I had to study for some exam. She started to get mad , go on a rant, and told me that i was being a bitch, that I was lying, things as such). I told her I was done with her and her insults. I was about to hang up. But that’s when she told me : just so you know, I was fucking with ( my late boyfriend’s name ), for 3 months and that, until the day he died. I just couldn’t believe it, I was in disbelief, completely shocked, but didn’t know if it was true or not. I told her to shut up, that it was all lies, that she needed to take her medication and hung up on her.
I started to cry. I was in so shocked, I wasn’t ready for it. I know she has some bipolar issues, but I also know for sure she had sex with plenty married and taken men, as well, in her past.
I’m so confused, I just have a hard time believing my bf would have been able to do that. He didn’t even like her and she didn’t like him either. I don’t think she was his type and he told me she was bringing too much drama. If it’s true, I never saw or noticed anything. I can’t believe it, but it put some doubts in my mind. I’m feeling lost and confused now
Is she lying ? Did she invent this because she wanted to be mean and hurt me ? I just don’t know what to think.
Kept sex tapes of an ex Compared your gf to your ex in bed Told your fd to be more like another woman in bed PHYSICALLY SHOWED HER a video of you receiving oral from another woman and told her to be like that
Jesus fuck this made me viscerally angry on behalf of your girlfriend. You are a grade-A world class douchebag. Just a real asshole on every level. Anyways, there's absolutely no recovering from that, hope you've learned your lesson for your next relationship.
Yeah, I didn’t like the idea as well. I really want to make this relationship work of course because I really do plan to marry him in the future. He kind of broke down yesterday too saying how he is tired and don’t want to argue anymore. Usually his way to end the conversation. At this point, I might consider just let it be and try not to overthink and assume the worst.
I talked about all this to him and he just told me that yesterday when we said goodnight and go to bed but he stayed up chatting with the girl for awhile before actually going to sleep. He said they talked about the game only. I really hope there really is nothing to worry about.
She only confessed to the BJ after she 'locked him up' with the pregnancy, so she's saving the 'we fucked' confession for after the marriage ceremony.
It's not a boundary. It's imposing a restriction on their freedoms.
Those people who see it as cheating are stupid. Funny enough, cheating occurs for emotional reasons majority of the time. Cheating (having sex outside of a monogamous relationship) actually harms someone. Watching porn doesn't harm anyone.
Anything in excess is harmful, but watching porn and jerking off to it from time to time is healthy.
*his boyfriend
But yeah I agree. This is a pattern of behaviour, he's obviously aware its going to happen and he's not taking responsibility for controlling himself and managing his own blood sugar.
Taking it out on OP who was trying to give him a nice experience is not on. Judging by how OP is hesitant to assign blame it sounds like this sort of unfairness is a regular part of their dynamic.
Ask your current girlfriend to help you redecorate. Apparently that is something your gfs do for you.
Please take this with the compassion with which it is intended, but you need to let this “it’s complicated” situation go. This girl seems like she has her own issues and is keeping you on the back burner.
Don’t reach out to her anymore. Focus on your mental health. Put effort into your IRL friendships. If she messages you again, I’d advise a very casual response with no expectations.
Eh, 16 and 18 is whatever. Close enough in age, but it looks more like they were 15 and 18. Which is gross! Who goes out with a sophomore when you’re a senior?
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
Almost one year ago, i lost the man I considered the love of my life ( we were together since I was 19). He died in an accident and this was so unexpected. It was tragic and I went into depression. He was the man I wanted call my husband , and have a family with. There were so many things we wanted to experience together. I just couldn’t deal with it and the pain was very strong.
Thankfully, i had a few people who were there for me. I also went to therapy, and it really helped me. It still hurts a lot but I’m doing my best to get better.
The thing is that, I have this cousin who I see from time to time, but don’t really get along with. She only contact me when she needs me to help her. She used to have, still has a lot of issues and trouble . so, I used to feel a bit bad about her and try to help her a bit
Two days ago, she called me, because she wanted to know, if I could take care of her kids ( she’s a single mother of two) for a few hours. I told her that I couldn’t because I had to study for some exam. She started to get mad , go on a rant, and told me that i was being a bitch, that I was lying, things as such). I told her I was done with her and her insults. I was about to hang up. But that’s when she told me : just so you know, I was fucking with ( my late boyfriend’s name ), for 3 months and that, until the day he died. I just couldn’t believe it, I was in disbelief, completely shocked, but didn’t know if it was true or not. I told her to shut up, that it was all lies, that she needed to take her medication and hung up on her.
I started to cry. I was in so shocked, I wasn’t ready for it. I know she has some bipolar issues, but I also know for sure she had sex with plenty married and taken men, as well, in her past.
I’m so confused, I just have a hard time believing my bf would have been able to do that. He didn’t even like her and she didn’t like him either. I don’t think she was his type and he told me she was bringing too much drama. If it’s true, I never saw or noticed anything. I can’t believe it, but it put some doubts in my mind. I’m feeling lost and confused now
Is she lying ? Did she invent this because she wanted to be mean and hurt me ? I just don’t know what to think.
So you
Kept sex tapes of an ex Compared your gf to your ex in bed Told your fd to be more like another woman in bed PHYSICALLY SHOWED HER a video of you receiving oral from another woman and told her to be like that
Jesus fuck this made me viscerally angry on behalf of your girlfriend. You are a grade-A world class douchebag. Just a real asshole on every level. Anyways, there's absolutely no recovering from that, hope you've learned your lesson for your next relationship.
Yeah, I didn’t like the idea as well. I really want to make this relationship work of course because I really do plan to marry him in the future. He kind of broke down yesterday too saying how he is tired and don’t want to argue anymore. Usually his way to end the conversation. At this point, I might consider just let it be and try not to overthink and assume the worst.
I talked about all this to him and he just told me that yesterday when we said goodnight and go to bed but he stayed up chatting with the girl for awhile before actually going to sleep. He said they talked about the game only. I really hope there really is nothing to worry about.