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People can do whatever they want
That being said, I can also do what I want and leave a relationship if I found out my partner did that
While it's not technically cheating, I would be hella uncomfortable about it. Maybe others would be fine with it, and all the power to them, but it's not me
Yep! Same here. He told me his type and I didn’t quite believe him until I saw what he looks at. Now I’m quite happy and very secure 🙂
Having been in this situation, there is nothing you can do. Wish him well, and kiss him goodbye.
Just give her some time and see what happens
Stop getting hung up on whether or not he's got a new partner. Not indicative. People are perfectly capable of deciding that they
Sounds to me like he's had some time outside the marriage to consider how he feels about it and has decided that he doesn't really feel anything at all. So he's obviously quite amused at your attempts to follow a game plan after it's not only failed but the game itself has ended and everyone's gone home.
Which is – let me be clear here – a complete dick move on his part. If he's come to a decision that he doesn't want to repair the relationship, the correct move is to tell you. Wind things up, get a divorce, move on.
Couple things you left out though. Like what precipitated this separation? His actions, your actions? Bit of both?
Whose idea was the separation? I could be wrong, but it feels like it was your idea?
Super toxic relationship.
Plus
He’s cheated on his girlfriend many times.
Plus
[My son]’s never lied before, and she has.
You do the math here.
Sounds like hes gay
She had sexual interactions with another person. Most people would consider that cheating. Did you two have the talk about boundaries at the beginning of your relationship?
Now in your view she cheated and broke your trust. It takes way longer than 6 months to get past something like that. Some people never do. And that's with couples therapy.
The thing that most people don't think about with things like that is the damage it causes the other person ( you). Before this you probably didn't think this is something she would be capable of doing to you. Well now you know she is and you aren't able to see her the same way or trust the same way.
The other thing is that she's telling you that it's not a big deal because she wasn't going to meet him. Well she was hiding it from you / lying so you only have her word for that which you now can't trust if that's true or not.
Also your feelings are valid and she's blowing them off.
Why did she feel the need to get sexual affection from someone else?
If it's because she feels like she's not getting enough from you then why didn't she say that before doing this with someone else?
Has she blocked this person?
Honestly, it feels like it’s headed towards a breakup. She’s already pushing you away. It sounds like she has her mind made up of what this is about to be. I’ve been in situations where it’s deal with something, or break up. The best advice I can give is, if you’re anything like me, you’re going to become resentful over it and it could possibly crash and burn.
I could have saved myself a lot of headache if I said, let’s take a break and try this again when we’re in better positions in life(like able to move in together full time, or be closer). If we move on from each other that’s okay too, it means we found happiness.
I’m not trying to project onto you or anything, but I have been in a position like you’re in, and could see myself writing something exactly like this in my early 20s. It has always turned out better if I let the breakup happen, versus sacrificing my own happiness to keep a partner that was showing me that they were okay without me.
I think you should probably just break-up. Better to end it quick and move on then the slow death path this is currently on.
how did you try to help her to move to the city? chip in on her rent?
As others have pointed out it's important that you don't get into relationships with people like him. It's important to keep in mind that you are better off alone than with someone who isn't fit to be a partner or a parent (since you have a kid)
I think you need to avoid dating people that are so much older than you. Mind age gaps because then it's likely they'll either be too childish for a relationship like your current bf or they might even be weirdos that like younger people and in both situations that's not healthy for you or your child. I think sometimes the internet overblows age gaps sometimes but in cases like this I don't think it's healthy. Usually these people aren't dating people their age for a reason, and not good reasons.
This brings me to another point. It's important to do things to protect and care for yourself and you have a child and it is really important to consider their needs as well. You're young and a new mom so I think you need to realize that everything in your life effects your child. You need to be careful and have standards or you could both get hurt. I don't mean to say that you don't think about your kid, it sounds like you care for him and I am sure you are capable of caring for a child, I just mean (out of concern and not judgement) that you need to make extra sure that you're doing what is best for him.
It sounds like your bf is causing a lot of extra stress and creating tension and anger. It also sounds like he's pretty selfish and lazy. You deserve a calmer life with better people, you don't have to put up with other people's nonsense
I wish you well with getting out of your current relationship. It's tough when it comes to these things but you have worth and agency and you're allowed to be alone and do what you need to do. Good luck and stay strong, you got this