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Then don't go. Tell him that you not increasing your debt for any reason. If he wants you there badly, he should pony up. The fact that he isn't footing the bill when he knows your circumstances is a fucking joke. And then you having to pay to host his family? What absolute shit. Also this dude is grown and li es with his parents…he ain't the one.
So coming from a Puerto Rican family we don't usually celebrate the 15th birthday. However, it is really common for the forst daughter to get the shit end of the stick on everything. I don't understand why but having seen it so often especially with the older generation the first daughter is barely higher than a servant, first son is a prince, and the kids after that is kind of depends.
You should look up the song “Landslide”. Sorry it happened that way. You may find some connection with that song to what you're going through.
You can build your life on new and far sturdier ground. Hard to do doesn't doesn't need to mean worse.
So she's allowed to decide she doesn't want kids, but he's not allowed to decide he does? They were both on the fence. Attacking him with “baby trapper” accusations is just fucking nuts.
I’m being very honest with you, it hardly ever ends up working that way. Chaotic people always manage to create chaotic situations somehow. Your son will absolutely have issues from all the trauma and need intense therapy most likely. For me it came out as a lot of anger towards my family. Who knows how it will show for him, regardless, she doesn’t want to be around it and you shouldn’t be so confused by it. Fostering and actually having a child move in full time are very different. She also got to consent to fostering children, this is out of her hands, it’s happening whether she likes it or not. You have live! in child care, sure, but she would end up being responsible for him in some way. It is inevitable. It’s a terrible situation and I feel for you, really. But I can definitely see why she left.
I'm with you on this. I used to be very insecure and needy when I first got married, and it wasn't fun for neither of us.