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No she should not tell him, but she should leave.
About the only thing good she mentioned (which I'm guessing is why she is thinking about staying) is his high six to nearly (if not over) 7 figure salary. I'm sure if he wasnt making big $ she would have already left over all the bad things
I asked for tips to move through betrayal, you didn't exactly offer that. I did acknowledge my wrong doing here in case you missed that part. He does deserve his privacy, and I also deserve to have my boundaries respected. Both things can be true. I clearly stated that I don't give a shit who he fantasizes about. He can fantasize about these girls he knows all he wants, I just draw the line at intentionally pulling up their pictures. But enough of me having to repeat myself for a person who clearly can't comprehend what I'm saying.
I have heard of those. Are they comfortable?
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
I (31F) am currently 25 weeks pregnant. I have had hyperpigmentation under my arms for a while, which became particularly exacerbated with a certain deodorant I was using. I used glycolic acid which helped some, but then it stopped working as well. I asked my husband (32M – we have been married for 2.5 years) for recommendations and he saw something about baking soda and lemon and i remembered one of my friends using that and getting good results. So he went out and got that for me. I told my friend about it and she said “oh no that didn’t work, i got horrible burns!” So told my husband that i remembered incorrectly and that I no longer wanted to try it. I have not been doing anything and it hasn’t gotten any worse and has gotten marginally better on its own, so I am just letting it be for now.
Fast forward to today, the weather is nice so we had plans to go out for the afternoon. I got ready and came downstairs wearing a sleeveless dress (that I had worn earlier in the week when we went out) and he has this look on his face, asks me to lift up my arms and asks if I would put something on that covers my armpits i said no that i feel ok wearing this outfit and he then proceeds to tell me he won’t be leaving and going anywhere with me while my armpits are dark like that. I tell him that is unreasonable, controlling, and unacceptable. And that this is how my body is rn because of pregnancy. He said that i initially told him it was because of the deodorant, not pregnancy to which I said the deodorant made it worse but the pregnancy is the reason it is there to begin with. He then said that i took my friend’s advice over his and that because i was not doing anything about it right now that is the reason why he won’t go out with me. He said that if i had tried the lemon and it didn’t work, then he would be fine with what I’m wearing. I continued to explain to him that it was extremely not ok for him to be saying and acting like this and that ANYONE who is healthy/rational/sane would see it as highly problematic. So here I am taking to Reddit because I cannot even begin to bring myself to talk about this with anyone we actually know. But I would appreciate any input.
I care about my body and my appearance and it hurts because I feel like my husband is ashamed/embarrassed by something I cannot control and that pregnancy is causing. I was really distraught by it especially when it was looking worse than it does now, but at this point I cannot let myself be ashamed.
please be kind and respectful in your replies