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It's only a joke if you're not down
Can you do a smaller wedding?
That doesn’t sound stupid at all. I know there’s been a lot of recent buzz about how psychedelics can be helpful with certain conditions. I’m not any kind of expert on that so I can’t give you any guidance on that but I think anything that could be helpful is worth at least looking into.
I do think it’d be good for you to try EMDR or another type of trauma focused therapy. It definitely sounds like you dealt with some serious adversity growing up and those wounds can take a lot of time and work to heal fully.
I grew up in a house with a lot of screaming fights and storming out, so I had very little understanding of how conflicts can be resolved or worked through, which is ultimately a skill that you can learn. But it is very tough to actually do that skill if your lizard trauma brain is bracing for somebody to start screaming at you, even if that’s not something your partner has ever actually done, and even though you’re not actually a helpless child in that situation but rather a fully grown adult. It took me a long time with my partner to figure out how to actually work through conflict productively but it’s now something I can handle.
Wishing you peace and healing as you move forward. ?
I think you need to spend time with yourself and really think about it. I can only tell you my side in hopes that it will.
We do not want kids. We have amazing careers. However, we dont have a house, and we are both inherently selfish against life. We want to experience the world, it's people and cultures. We also want to pack up and go on a vacation on a whim, which we do regularly.
If we had a house, we would still not have kids. We don't want to raise them in this world, nor do we want to lose the “do whatever, whenever” and dedicate our lives to them. All of these things are okay.
The financial side alone is a deciding factor despite being in tripple digits. Costs are going up, and wages are not. This isn't changing and has only gotten worse and worse. Daycare alone is a mortgage. That doesn't include healthcare or anything else.
We had terrible childhoods and want to spend our adult life doing whatever we want, whenever we want for as long as possible. What we did decide on is adoption. If we change our minds, we will decide to adopt. Plenty of children need loving families and are already on this planet no fault of their own.
He admitted it over the phone last night and I haven't seen him in person but yes, I'm furious and have been thinking about breaking up all day.
Maybe, if that’s the case then I wish them luck
What kinda place needs 300k down payment????