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You say he's “comfortable”, so is this friend wealthy enough that 1k is something he can regularly drop casually? Does he spend this much on gifs for other friends? If so, I think you can relax a little bit, although it's still not very nice that he ignored your stated boundaries about gifts like that. If not, it might be worth considering whether or not he's really “doing it as a friend” or not. If you have any creative hobbies, you could gift him back something that's relatively high-effort (it's significant, just in a different way), but it may not make you feel better.
How firm were you in saying that the gift made you uncomfortable? I think it's sometimes considered common politeness to refuse big gifts at first (“oh, you shouldn't have!”) so maybe he thought you were doing that? I think it's worth reiterating that you were very serious and that any joy that he hopes you'd get from such an expensive gift will be outweighed by your discomfort. But if you were very clear, then take it as a reason to be more careful around this friend. The gift may be “impossible to return”, but is it impossible to not accept?
Why would he enjoy watching her/other disabled people struggle if it were just a type? Even if you prefer dating disabled people, I don't think it's normal to enjoy watching them struggle.
You’ll need to move on. To be honest the timing of his announcements immediately following a work trip indicates he may have found someone else that he’s been seeing and would rather pursue that then fix the relationship with you. Very sorry
I don't want to lose a once good thing if it can be made good again
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Wow way to kick people while they're down
and I left him completely dry
I see what you did there….
Did you lose your virginity to this woman?
I hope you don't smoke around your daughter.
The best thing you can do is to wait untilyour wife is a couple months after giving birth, as to not burden her more. However since you will be keeping it a secret, to compensate you should stop your friendship with the other woman.
Btw, you seem to long for more meaningful connection with someone. Therapy won't change that. Only spending more quality time with your wife can change that.
I would suggest having one or two “dates” a week, when all the pregnancy stuff is done. I know, you have no time. Well time for work may have to suffer a little, and you might have to pay for babysitter, as your dates should be at least most of thetime, about you(the two of you), and you alone. Dates can be a stay at home kind, but your time needs not be spent on your responsibilities, but something nice you eould do together.
Should your wife oppose you need to tell her you need it in your life or you will be miserable. Tell her you do not want to emotionally cheat on her, but you can't keep going like this forever.