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It's not your fault. You deserve to be treated better, you deserve respect and you deserve love. The sooner you are rid of him the sooner you'll find those things.
I'm a physician so I see this from the other side all the time. The way he is behaving is absolutely not normal. People die from burst appendices and it's frankly bizarre that he's being so blase about it. In healthy relationships, partners are in touch with and worried about their partners' life threatening conditions, not dismissive and minimizing. This is very much not cool on his part.
You should add the fact you are signing a prenup to your post. Add it now, it’s a huge factor that will sway people’s opinion.
I think a lot of people commenting are either teenagers who don’t know how the real world works, or scorned ex spouses who sympathize with his ex and love seeing a story of a guy bending over backwards to show remorse.
These people aren’t giving you good advice. Your fiancé is showing you that trying to make things right with his ex will be his priority ahead of making things right for you. Take that as you will
Mental breakdowns happen over stuff like this all the time nowadays. It's always “but what about my feelings!” Instead of “okay ill take my plate to the sink my bad”
Yes, there is value in not disclosing the crush to the BF. I think there needs to be more discussion about that. If the bestie does the healthy thing and withdraws for a while, I don't think that OP necessarily needs to invade bestie's privacy to explain the besties absence to the BF.
Toxic dependency. Ewww.
In a way. You are the one with whom she stayed.
She could have dated you and found anyone else but she stayed for who you truly are, not your exterior beauty
As a woman, tbh a lot of live dating is like this. Sometimes theres sooo many messages that you end up justnscrolling through and randomly picking the first 5 that arent awful and go with them and the rest get forgotten. Its kinda chance at first but obviously as you go deeper the relationships grow and you end up seeing one person and pursuing tbat with them. Love at first sight isnt really a thing.
At 42, I think he knows hun.
She wants to fuck other people then come back to you after a month and get married. Dont be that person whos a fucking doormate for their partner. Their is a big difference in wanting a week apart to see if they miss you and taking time apart because they are missing out on other dicks. She probably already has the other dick lined up and is waiting on the break to be able to fuck it and use the break as a god damn excuse. Honestly man you should just tell her she get the full break up and to never reach out again, if she is gonna put more value in fucking others then your five year relationship and engagement you can find someone better. Dont settle for this bullshit man
can you be sure he hasn't baby trapped you? tampered with pills or anything? sure? also good behaviour when you hold all the power means nothing, you could abort and leave him rn and he couldn't do a thing to stop it. what will matter is if he's sweet and dependable once you're locked in for life, baby is out/too late to abort and now he knows you're permanently in his life. trust your gut, and play it safe. this is real life with real consequences. having a child should be done right.
I can’t even continue reading your responses…Stop making excuses for him and make some damn moves to get out of this relationship now. He isn’t going to change and you deserve better. Don’t even need to discuss it with him if you think you’ll lose your nerve, just break it off!
It’s weird that she said that.
To me, unless/until two people agree to be exclusive, they’re not and dating others is expected. But I have to question her judgment or the purpose/intent of her telling you she went on another date in the way she did—completely unsolicited. That would be something I’d stick in my back pocket and remember as you evaluate the situation moving forward.
^ This is exactly how the abuse started in my last relationship