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I really feel for you, OP.
You've only done your best to give your husband and family a fantastic Christmas and through no fault of your own, the kids made the emotional choice to spend the day with their extended family.
That you got blamed for not making cookies is utterly ridiculous. Why isn't their dad, the actual parent not baking the kids cookies and making Xmas dinners?
He's using you as an emotional punching bag and has said things that cannot be un-said.
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I honestly have to say that I fully expected to be on her side at the beginning. At the end of the day, it’s an archaic mindset and ultimately nonsense. For whatever it’s worth, I’m a guy, happily married, and tend to lean conservative. I tell you this so that you understand that I’m not coming at this with an inherent bias against you.
Let’s now put things into perspective though. If a couple decides they want to have a single income dynamic, that’s fair enough. That’s their choice and none of us are in a position to argue against it.
But that’s not the situation here. There never was, is, or will be an expectation for a partner to fund a separate domicile for their partner. That’s honestly just completely illogical.
In saying that, I want to be clear that I’m not here suggesting you move in together. That’s the biggest step in a relationship outside of having children. It’s certainly not a solution if shes proposing you pay for you to online separately. If she wanted to on-line together, that’s what she’d have proposed, and we could have argued that all day. That’s not the case.
In short, run. Online, learn, and get out your outdated mindset to begin with, but certainly don’t consider a healthy and sustainable future with someone who makes a suggestion like this. I can only imagine there’s more to this story, but only you know.
Wtf is wrong with you? This child is being sexually harassed by her creepy brother in law and you are blaming her? You are so wrong and saying she should be beaten for it? What is wrong with you?
Your husband raped your drunk sister. There is no way back from this.
I mean, if I may; I'm getting “it's quiet… Too quiet” vibes. Though really in my opinion it just sounds like therapy has been really successful for him. The difference it does make when someone helps you identify and work on your issues can be tremendous, even just being less stressed after speaking to someone can give me much more energy over a week. I wanna guess he might not talk about his feelings as much perhaps because he doesn't feel the need to? I mean I know that when I've seen a professional over some time I tend to not talk to anyone else in particular about things as having worked on them in therapy it just doesn't seem like such a big deal, I'm working on it and I'll keep doing so, I don't need to talk about anything for the sake of it when I already have someone – a professional, as that can just be exhausting.
It sounds good, I think maybe your confidence is a bit thin and maybe you're expecting something to be wrong but you perhaps don't know what but ultimately I think it sounds alright really. He's being more responsible, he definitely loves you as it sounds from him putting good effort and consideration into being spontaneous with doing activities etc with you.
I'm just worried you'll only make yourself more worried after having asked this on Reddit. Reddit loves to speculate and catastrophize the silliest things and many will tell you x, y, or z is a 'huge red flag' but imo until you know something is wrong, don't expect it to be otherwise you risk making yourself poorly.
I'm glad he changed for the better and hopefully you both have a great life together
I personally don't think race impacts beauty. There's psychically and emotionally beautiful men and women that are white, black, Indian, Middle-Eastern, North African, Pacific Islander, etc, etc.
If this dude doesn't want to date you just because you're black, then he isn't very emotionally beautiful anyway.
Yeah exactly just stupid behavior that you should be well past at 24 years.
I do have insecurities, I try to understand myself the best as possible. For example, I'm insecure about the way I usually get overexited about small things, and I fear that I annoy people with so. We all do have so and so, I truly believe no human lives without any insecurities, only denial.
I also believe, that you are wrong in the fact that such preference is fully and utterly an insecurity. If a person heavily binds love with sex, a higher bodycount may to them simply make another person incompatible, with no shame involved. I know multiple men, with partners, that feels this. I also know multiple women, including my own girlfriend.
Calling a preference people has an “insecurity” just because you arent included in so, seems rather… insecure.
Excellent! Now comes the support network she is going to need..