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You should take that hint…
Go tell your family and ask for help.
Stop making excuses for why you're staying with someone against your will.
“I don't want to loan you money anymore”
What's amusing is that in terms of legal entanglements and financial obligation having a child with someone (or buying real estate with them) is far more risky than marrying them. It's malpractice bordering on child abuse though to not at least have a domestic partnership contract if you're going to have kids together. So you might consider that if just the word “marriage” is too much for him. Or if the traditional arrangement is what you want tell him that's your baseline for having his baby. No one could blame you for not wanting to take the massive career hit, physical risk and lifelong commitment of being a mother with someone who's this fearful of offering the standard guarantees associated with building a family.
Aw Man, like a woman myself, I say women are complicated. But I really feel her. I don't know if she might be afraid of having sex with you qnd things ending after this, or might be something else. I used to be like this with my past boyfriend. We always made great and wild kissing, touches and stuff but no sex. I was too afraid of giving him it and soon things ending up. There's a whole taboo around women having sex and I'm sure she's just insecure and wanting to be sure you aren't using her for sex only. Making you wait and respect her boundaries is the proof. I know waiting is pretty lame mostly times, but as she said, you can go if it's too much for you. It's nude, I know. But relationships are supposed to be comfortable for both, not suffocating in any way. Love is comfort, respect, love is home. If you choose staying with her despite that, try to not pressure her about this, but if it bothers you and makes you unconfident and uncomfortable try making it clear for her. Hope it helps.