D A N I on-line webcams for YOU!

5 thoughts on “D A N I on-line webcams for YOU!”

1. I’m sorry, her behavior does seem irrational. Reassure yourself you are not doing anything wrong. She may have an insecure attachment style. Reassure her you care about her, but respect her individual agency and freedom. Because you trust her. You don’t want to control her or limit her, because you only want what is best for her and part of that is her individual freedom and pursuit of happiness. If she can’t understand that, maybe it’s time to evaluate the healthiness of your relationship. She may have things she needs to work through individually before participating in a relationship. This is strange behavior and she shouldn’t have to treat you this way.

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2. I'm sorry for your loss. But girl fk him. Just move on.

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3. 4 months in and you wanna deal with all of this? Makes me sad. Raise your standards

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4. That's challenging. As long as there's no history of abuse towards each other on either side, it might be worth considering couple's counselling to air things out a little bit in terms of the resentment.

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5. I was waiting for this!

   we have had a great relationship

   Uhm… sure.

   I didn’t respond as he had ignored me last night and I was returning this

   Yep, sounds like healthy problem solving in a great relationship.

   I get it. You had a traumatic relationship. Maybe your current bf is just as bad as the last one. Or maybe he got tired of walking on eggshells. Or maybe a bit of both. I’m not defending him in anyway but can’t help to not consider what he said:

   I’ve had enough of this shit

   especially when it followed your “you cannot slam the doors, you know how I feel about it.”

   There is only so much policing and filtering one’s reactions one can take. Swearing when you drop something? Sure, it’s not high class but it’s also not violent. If any kind of emotional expression from him is followed by “you cannot do X because you know how I feel about it”, I can understand the frustration. I don’t support his actions but I can see where he’s coming from.

   I think my underlying point is that you’re not a reliable narrator. Not intentionally but I do think your trauma and past history makes you highly sensitive and lowers your benchmark for what you consider “noise”, “yelling”, or “slamming”. I’m looking at this exchange particularly:

   When he walked out of the room he slammed the door, something I am extremely sensitive to due to an abusive ex.

   After a moment to calm myself down I walked into the kitchen and told him something to the effect of “you cannot slam the doors you know how I feel about it” to which he said he didn’t slam it, and I responded that we both know he did and why would he say otherwise?

   Sure. It is a possibility that even a deaf person would feel the vibration of this slam and if there was a glass in the door it would break. I’m not saying it’s impossible. There is also a possibility that he is gaslighting you. Or, there is also a possibility that while it may have been closed louder than usual, for majority of people this still wouldn’t register as slamming. Do you see where I’m trying to go with this?

   I believe that he might be another violent, abusive person in your life. He certainly acted impulsively and immaturely when he kicked you out. But I also believe that he might feel caged and uneasy in his own home trying to respect all of your strict boundaries.

   My advice is to stop living together for a while and work on your triggers in therapy. After some time you need to reevaluate living together and come to the conversation with an open mind that you might not be compatible to online with each other or be in a relationship with each other. There is a range of loud yet healthy (or at least not un-healthy) reactions and expressions of emotion that you may never be comfortable with.

   Apologies for writing an entire book. Please know that it was in good faith. Take care of yourself.

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